ohoho

at about 330 PM I lay on the floor just chillin. then i fell asleep

at about 400PM I chatted with a homie and went back to the floor

then i wake up at 619PM, on the couch.

i had a dream that i had an idea, and woke up with the mentality of "ooh breh, i got an idea"

but i don't remember that idea now

:(

aoh geez

i think ineeda change me eating habits abit neH?

todai, i woke up and woke up

then kento came over so we could work on our toothpick tower. epic fail

then i made a chicken bake for 2 (no homo)

then i made pancakes for 2 (no homo)

then we decided the toothpick tower would take too long

then a fat guy and a filipino guy came over unexpectedly and ate my ice cream

then we four went to the burgers of giants to eat giant burgers

then i came home and drank nothing

all in all, its all in all

oh yeh

I got part two of my rap

...listen to my words on these beats
so crazy you wet your sheets

wait up, its coming fast like a nascar

!

over the past few weeks ive had many thoughts

and the only logical way to express it through the art of hip hop

rdy?

uh uh turn me up uh

and thats all i have for now

WINTER RETREAT WOT WOOT?

it will be berry fun. no exceptions

i also have a sudden urge to buy a pop gun at great america, then proceed to cut off the other corks of the other guns so i can have extra ammo.

PEACE

witner brake wot

so many things going on :|
iwant to get my drivers stuff over with so i dont need to worry about it dat one.
all these events during break are so mind bottling. its boggling

so meny jeckei chens

woot woot men

School is actually useful for once!

Photoshop is win!

I am win!

I am Sparta!

ONE MORE WEEK

ONE MORE WEEK TIL LE WINTER BRAKE

lmao

i got slapped by a g-string

not your normal g-string

the g stands for guitar

i was doing a dance with it, cause i was celebrating the replacement of the strings

when it hit the corner of my couch and a string snapped

and slapped me in the face

so sed man

RIP Gomo

I've heard a lot of things I hope you regret. I hope you turned to Christ at your last moments, cause no one deserve hell.

nobody

Ahehehe

sometimes, a schedule is QUITE NOICE.

Schedule recently

wake up-7:30
shower/eat sometimes rotated by 8:00

8:00 - 8:15 finishing preparations

8:17 - out the door

8:29 - reach the crosswalk to cross into H street

8:32 (cellphone time) - first bell

8:38 - in 1st period

8:40 - 3:30 - school

3:40 - go home

4:00 - arrive

4:00 - 5:30 - random w/e; usually compy or xbox

5:30 - 7:30 - study

7:30 - 10:30 - dinner, computer, xbox

10:30 - 11:00 - wash up

11:25 - in bed

once in a while though, you need a bit of VARIETY

i love...

lamp. i love rug...i love lamp. i also love playing bball for four hours then come home stinky. i also love the shower that rids me of my stench. i love sundays. i do not love the school tomorrow

...

what jerk gives a project to do during thanksgiving break?

revenge will be sought

Things to do

Get a freakin foot tan
Get a freakin face tan
Get a freakin leg tan
Get a freakin body tan

basically get a tan. I lost my orange glow. j/k never had one

what have you done today?

well I'll tell you what I did today


aw yeah.

look at that egg. HELLA RAW (pun intended)
after years of arts and craft I have achieved equilibrium. as my egg friend has also achieved.

so what have you done?

I guarantee it's not as cool as this

waw

just studied like no asian has ever studied before

studied so hard my head is warm

so hard that my heart is racing

no, this is not intended to be sexual ya freak

calculus makes me cry

SHOULDVE DONE BAD IN PRECAL YAAH.

le greatest

pickup line ever


My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in.

go forth and prosper

ahbon

my dog has a pimple on top of her head. i loled furiously

then i worried that it might be a tumor and it might keel her

then i loled again

for thinking such thoughts

hahahahahahaha

snack ate a third of johnnys churro

hahahahhahaha

shes covered in brown sugar

hahahahahhahaha

she makes a delicious Snack

hahahahhahahahah

she's probably gonna barf in my room in the morning

hahahahhahahahha

yep

its good to sit outside once in a while and just think.

like winnie the pooh

on that silly tree trunk

thinking

interresting

i had a dream where my dad was making spears in the backyard. then i threw one and it was very heavy so i did a sucky throw. then i played wii.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

http://www.zurqui.com/crinfocus/paper/air-bld1.html

THIS IS A LIE. DO NOT FALL FOR IT

IT MAY BE INTERESTING

YOU MIGHT THINK
"DAG MAN, I COULD BE THE KNEES OF THIS TOWN IF I HAD THIS AWESOME AIRPLANE"

THIS AIRPLANE IS A LIE, I KID YOU NOT.

DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT FALL FOR THIS MAN'S LIES.

I WASTED TOO MUCH PAPER AND TIME TO BUILD SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T FLY.

OKAY, IT FLIES.

BUT ITS NOT THE BEST IN THE WORLD.

lawl?

peace out craptober.

you and your dasdardly deeds.

HELLO EXTRA HOUR OF SLEEEEP

oh men

I had some nutella today.

and im like damn breh

the europeans one upped the US.

pretty badly

maan

yugioh jerks invading my last fortress of cool. giant burger. I guess I will wander the earth, searching for a new place to chill without paper monsters.

also my back hurts

of which i also blame yugioh

BTW

WHATEVER I SAY SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN PERSONALLY.

ONLY PROFESSIONALLY.

ALSO,

MUH NUH MUH NUH

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRRFfg2Guq4

Great test of faith

I failed miserably. Looks like I need to stockpile on the Jesus Juice

sigh

i want a dream where im practicing something. like skating or playing bass. thatd be tight. i heard that if you practice something in your dream, it helps develop the skill in real life. but what do i know? im no chiropractor.

wat?

I suppose!

Despite being one of the most gnarharlay days of my life, today is one of my favorite days ever.

4 hours basketball. ooooh baby

gonna be feeling that in the morn

Its one thing...

to poop a deadly, formidable poop without spraying some febreeze.

that's rude enough

BUT TO CLOG THE TOILET AND LEAVE IT OVERNIGHT?

You just crossed the line breh.

Honestly, it's not that complicated to unclog le tualeyet.

JUST .... ARGH

I would be proud to clog the toilet. It's my declaration of "my poop is the samson of the temple which we call the toilet"

ASSERT YOURSELF

OMG YEY THIS ONE!

FIRST A GIANT THUNDERSTORM

THEN A BLACKOUT

THEN WALKING IN THE WATER

NOW NO SCHOOL.

OFFICIALLY THE GREATEST SCHOOL DAY EVER

Only one thing I will ever be anal about

And that thing is

My music library

If you looked at my library, surely you will be jealous.
Because I have tagged them all personally, complete with album art, and in the correct genre.

your music library will never be as great as mine

because I am never content with having one song from one album, that looks disgusting in my music library.

nope, i must have the whole album so that my library is balanced.

you would die for my music library

because it is MY music library

so many things are in my mind

like, my mind is some sort of a BUMBLEBEE

I went to visit my gomo (aunt) in a nursing home in San Jose. scariest place in teh world. First when you walk in, you see a quaint room with a rug. typical rug room. Then, i started walking toward room 108 where gomo was. Along the way, old g-ma's scatter the hallways, all in wheelchairs.

Gomo's room has 2 extra beds, one with another white haired g-ma, and one empty one, with a half eaten bowl of cereal still on the sheets.

This white haired g-ma is nuts man. Like insane in the membrane with nothin to gain. First, she tells my mom to empty a suspicious blue bowl. My mom was like noty and called in an attendant. Then, this cracka tells me to lower her bed. I'm like noty and call in an attendant.

Then gomo and I are just chillin and talking. When suddenly, something thumps my back. I turn around and see some mexican g-ma staring at me, mumbling something. I swear man, she be casting spells on me like she wanna be in The Crucible; the whole time she looking at me like O_O.

Yes, I pooped my pants, and yes, I called in an attendant. It was very creepy though, my gomo was also at a lost for words, and kept repeating "this is not your room". Thinking about it right now is making me poop my pants.

At last, it was time to go. But of course another g-ma gotta make me defile the front part of my pants. A Mexican g-ma was in her wheelz next to room 108. Right when I step out, she screams like a mutha-banshee. I piss my pants, she's pissin her pants, the attendant obviously runs over, and now I'm out of extra pants.

My point? The first place of a zombie outbreak will most definitely be in that nursing home. F that place man. I'm out of jeans

NO WAY

mom got a massage machine in the form of a lifejacket. it's too crazy. its like rocks pummeling you at a variety of speeds. I'll probably die.

Note to self: It hurts hella bad when applied to face.

perhaps tHIS ONE?

my dad cannot play call of doody 4 with me :(

buts its ok.

my skteaboaterd parts come in next weeeek. so excited :D:D:D

i have a calculus test tomorrow. so not excited D:D:D:

that is all

im just crazy like that

so today i was getting my daily dose of starlight, when i noticed something a bit peculiar.

BREATHING

mr red pants was all like

blaaack holes and revelaaattttioooonsss *BREATH*

it wasnt even a gasp, it was a wheeze. so next time you listen to a song, listen for the breaths, so you can trip out like me

oh man

never realized how my life was empty without a computer. so boring. but now, all is well, for I have a new hard drive. Unfortunately, all my pictures, music, and other valuable megabytes are gone forever. unless i scavenge the internets for what is MINE.

you can also replace computer with JESUS!

NO LIFE BUT NEW LIFE

manfred

i got another D in calculus. so hard, but i'm not leaving til she kicks me out, ya digg

one more thing

one of the most awkwardest days ever

yesterday, daniel simz and i went to tap. or i went to tap and daniel simz had to come. anyways, i ordered the usual caramel snow bubble when i see a group of logan teachers come in. weird, but it gets worse. i see my TA for calculus AB in the group, Mr. Azn, in a beater. Very weird, but it gets weirder. He goes up to me and asks

Hey are you Nelson Kajiwara?

what the hell dat one? First of all, NOLAN Kajiwara sits next to me. Nelson, really?

"uh no, it's Nolan Kajiwara" i tell the buff Mr Azn.

Oh yeah? That's your name?

"no, my name is Kevin"

Oh yeah? Kevin Kajiwara?

This dude. "no, Kevin Lee"

Oh i see.

Its already bad, but it gets WORSE

So, kevin, what did you get on your quiz?

"eh, i did pretty bad"

oh dont worry, the first one is always rough.

THEN THIS NIGGA LEANS IN TOWARDS ME AND SMILES

better study harder next time!

and i was like " OKIE DAT ONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe

just gotta say

my sister is trippin like she be flippin burgers at mcdonalds ya digg?

my dad was trying to make me eat his "organic" lettuce and I was like "but how will I build up my immune system.

my sister, being all trippy and all, instantly jumps to the chance to abate me. (ty Ms. Forrest)

she uses her expert UCSB dinosaur knowledge to develop a hypothesis which would consequently render my reasoning invalid.

in basic terms she sed
NIGA WUT R U TOKNG ABOUT????? DO U 3VEN KNOW WUT ORGANIC MAANS?!?!!? OMG WTF IT MAANS TAHT IT DOASNT UES ANY CHAMICALS!!1!1!!11 LOL HOW CAN UR BODY DAV3LOP ANTIBODEIS AGANEST CHAMICALS??!??!!?? OMG U IDIOT!!1111 WTF

-brought to you by the AOL translator

at this moment, i would have smashed her face with the nearby bowl of rice but then i said to myself

what would jesus do?

so i told her

NIGA CHIL OUT!11!!1 LOL WEL AL FLOAT ON ONE DAY

-brought to you by the AOL translator

havent been this excited since i met heavenG

Ah yes. Today during school I was anxious as hell to receive the greatness. Honestly, probably the slowest day ever. I was trippin out if someone would go to my porch and jack my packages. I was so trippin, that I went on my phone's internet browser to check the tracking of it. Yes, I was very anxious.

But alas. My packages. THey were safe.

TODAY IS A GREAT DAY
FIRST PACKAGE.
A very small cube it was. I was quite pleased to see my repaired D2 chillin in some bubble wrap.


bueno

Then came a strange CD shaped box. I had no idea what it held until i opened it.
And who would have known...


A CD!

Last but not least...in a yellow envelope, hailing from La Puente, CA. The moment I was waiting for.

No need for words. Just stand in awe.

TOMORROW IS COMING

IM SO EXCITED

ALSO

I GOT A BOOK CALLED

BASS FOR DUMMIES

TUESDAY, IM IN LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Attention!

http://www.allkpop.com/index.php/full_story/2pms_jaebeom_calls_it_quits/

JAEBUM CALLS IT QUITS.

I dont have a clue who j-bum or 2PMS is. I can only assume theyre korea's NSYNC.

BUT DEM NIGAS BE TRIPPIN HELLA BAD

25. gogoNi-ji desu

WHAAAAAAATTTTT!!??? BULL theres no way! some one hacked it right?? how can that stupid effing comment end him in 2PM!? i didnt wanna go there, BUT KOREA IS GAY!!! I SAID IT! if jae is seriously leaving, the population of korea that did this and didnt forgive him is GAY! n noy in the homosexual way, cuz i have nothing against them. in the offensive way… theyr GHEY!!

WE'RE GAY? NO. YOU'RE GAY. AND IM USING THE OFFENSIVE WAY ALSO. geez, look at that avatar.

28. Nikore | website

noooo i’m gonna cry now ):

HAWHAW! CRY LOSER HAW HAW! US KOREANS HAVE TRIUMPHED OVER YOU! HAW HAW!

49. sensitivityx

:[ this is too sad.. i feel like crying T_T damn anti’s i hope they’re happy for breaking tons of hearts.

HEY! SENIOR SENSITIVITY! HOW BOUT BECOME LESS EMOTIONAL SO YOU WONT HAVE TO CRY DUE TO YOUR SENSITIVITINESSSSZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

202. Tremmy-chii~

WHAT?! JAEBEOM IS QUITTING 2PM?! O.O THAT IS SO UNFAIR! D:<>

NO YOU KNOW WHATS UNFAIR? HOW I MYSELF A KOREAN HAVE TO DEAL WITH OTHER ASIANS TRYING TO SPEAK KOREAN TO ME JUST BECAUSE THEY LISTEN TO YOUR KPAAAAWWWWPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
SO YOURE STUPID

208. bigbangandaal

I FUCKIN SWEAR IF THIS IS TRUE
DAMN IT…2PM ISNT 2PM ANYMORE
I WILL NOT STEP INTO KPOP WORLD AGAIN
I AM SO EMOTIONAL RIGHT NOW
PLS GIMME AN ANTI RIGHT NOW
THE ANTI IS SO FUCKING DEAD
ANTIS, HAPPY NOW?
I WILL HAUNT U GUYS AT NITE

HAUNT ME EVERYDAY - WEEZER. YOU CANT COPY IT BIG BANGLADESH. AND THANK YOU FOR LEAVING THE K-WORLD. YOU SMELLED ANYWAYS

210. kpopcrazinessgal

I am a korean my self
but i do not think this way
he deserves a second chance
and jaebom is a fantastic leader
well if its for the best
i think he should leave
start anew
and not under those judgmental antis
for all you know may be he could be bigger than now ^^
well always praying for him

PRAYING FOR HIM? WTF. THERE ARE STARVING KIDS OUT THERE AND UNEDUCATED PEOPLE AND HOMELESS AND HANDICAPPED...STOP WASTING GODS TIME FOR THIS RICH KOREAN BASTARD

250. nikeg.

wow korea never fails to amaze me. jaebum should start an asian american underground group based on break dancing and music. fuck korean netizens.

CAUSE YOU KNOW, UNDERGROUND AND BREAKDANCING HAVE NEVER TOUCHED THE STATES. AND YOU NEVER FAIL TO AMAZE ME, NIKE GANGSTER

323. Tiffasaurus-x

Are you serious?
I’m fucking crying my eyes out.
2PM will NOT be the same without Jaebeom.
Even though it sounds silly, I wont continue to support 2PM without Jaebeom.
He’s to amazing of a leader.

I really hope this is un-official, because if it’s not,
Those Netizens better watch the FUCK out, because I’m pissed.

OH SNAP. EVERYONE GET THE HELL OUT. THE TIFFASAURAS IS MADDDDDDDDDD. SHE GO DUH CRAZEEEE




311. BoAAAAAHHH

Guys let me tell you one thing first of all I M KOREAN. Korea is made of nationalism and nationalism makes korean proud because korea used to be attacked by Chinese, Japanese and all other countries around. If nationalism didnt cheer koreans up there would be no korea at all. There are only one ethnic race in korea which is Korean and their bloodship is the first priority to be Korean. Jay Park touched the most dangerous censor of an Atomic bomb which is denying KOREA even thought he is Korean (physically). Korean people never forgive such Korean who never has the patriocy and respect of their own country. people felt betrayed because Jay Park used to be funny and interesting person on TV.
Jay Park’s behavior might be understandable in U.S (i doubt) but in Korea never. you can find similar example with Steve Yoo (Yoo Seung Joon).
before bashing Korea, please know that it is Korea that Jay Park was working on and Korea has their own culture and history. Personally I really feel sorry about him

I WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU, SNAKE-FIEND.

IM NOT AN ANTI-W/E THEY'RE CONDEMNING. I DONT KNOW MY KPOP, BUT MAN, THEM FANS ARE ALL SHEEEEEPS

remember when i said i was excited for school?

i lie. school is actually quite boaring. perhaps if i had a non-forensic infested APUSH class and 4th lunch with everyone, it would be better. but its not. so its just a bit butter.

I HAD A DREAM
where i got kidnapped the dude who bought my guitar amp. crazy stuff man. we drove, and he was gay, and tried to touch me lololol. but i slapped him and then we went to a walmart, where he would buy a mcflurry. but before we went in, i started yelling for the cops, and then the cops rushed in a beat the crap out of him. i joined in for a while, then ran back to the car and started driving home. i was standing up while driving, which is weird, but it was quite fun. I JUST started driving until my dad woke me up like a jerk. i hope to dream more driving dreams. those are always great

summer has come and past

stupid green day is never a blast

indeed! school starts tomorrow and im not excited

who am i kidding, i lie. i am a bit excited, cause now i dont have any reason to say "MAN IM SO DAMN BORED" cause when theres school, theres always something you have to do.

hures an equation to get school started
I am done with summer work, but summer is over, so there's only work left.
EQUATION

Summer Work - Summer = Work >/= school

so in the end

its just school

alas, we learn something new everyday

that you can never trust undergraduates with revising your essay. actually, you can't really trust anyone to revise your essay, because they'll break down the creative process in which you used to make said essay. that is, if you actually put in effort.

which leads me to believe why school is lame for everyone. they grade you on mechanics and not on your own beliefs when it comes for your own input. in a way, people wont be able to advance if they're forced to stay within guidelines.

tiem to break free eh?

thank god that no one can revise a blog. wateva wateva i do wat i want!

zhrisney

ALMOST DONE WITH MY SUMMER WORK. OH SO CLOSE...I CAN TASTE THE C+

fml

how goofy

today was schedule pick up day. they told us to bring our parents, but I didnt because Im a coolio kid. but it turned out you HAVE to have them to get your junk, so I had to wait for my dad. then it was PICTURE TIEM, naturally, i suck at posing. The lady was like "alright...feet on the ground...yes...hands on your lap...bring your hands up more...bring in your face...relax your shoulders (she didnt realize that my shoulders are so duh strong one lolol), tilt your head...point your nose toward here...bring down your chin...tilt a leetle more, bring down your chin...tilt your head moar...ehh...smile...oh boy... FLASH

theres the pretty face eh>
then i collected my 5 textbooks then went to union landing for hours of nothing...while carrying those damn books. it sux, but now its w/e.

i still have to finish my summer work. boopoopoo

hahhwhaha

Dear gurls!
I know it is your dream to become a super model, but do you have to bend your elbow and put your hand on your waist for every picture you take? Cmon, let's be original. More gangster, less model. Cause times are a' changing.
sincerely
everyone who it concerns

ahahh!

I gave in to the hype and preordered a zunehd. now time will tell if i wasted a billion dollars for another mp3 player. (which i dont have, so i suppose my decision is jUSTIFIED)

OK SO MAYBE NOT TODAY

BUT REST ASSURED CITIZENS, OUR TIME WILL COME!

Saturday City Presents

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A BEETLE
Brilliantly written by bay-renowned authors/illustrators Kevin Lee and Ronnie Ramos comes
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A BEETLE

COMING SOON...MAYBE LIKE TOMORROW?!

schools coming

how do i know? cause I already got a pimple

not that you needed to know

I really need to start working, but my willpower is veryberry weak. I need an inspiration. Eh, I could probably drop AP US History, but then i'd be a disgrace to all asia. suxkzs

my time is running out

1000 more pages to read.
1000 more words to write

im not trying to waste time, but i cant seem to get my self going. But probably once i start, my work will start flowing. when im done, its gonna be my face glowing.

cause ill be so happy!

but for now

life is kinda crappy :(

werd

oh noes

too many diet cokes. too much caffiene crash. goodnight

back like a potato sack

i missed drinking fountains
i missed hot showers
i missed hoboless communities
i missed seeing asian people
i missed my music
i missed bass
i missed my dogs
i missed the tv
i missed the computer and its internets
i missed laundry
i missed cold weather
i missed USD
i missed my bed
i missed my phone
i missed america

BUT NOW IM HOME
I KEEP IT FRESH IN EUROPE
YEH, I KEPT IT FRESH THERE
NIGGA I KEEP IT FRESH EVERYWHERE

but schools coming

Before Ukraine

Kevin Lee
Born on thy world on the twenty seventh day of our dear Lord in the month of February.
Weighing in at one hundred and thirty seven pounds, hereby declare in the visions of the world the responsibility and the honor of carrying thou luggage to the city of Kiev in the country of Ukraine. God be with us all.

PEACE.

IM NOT PREPARED

AT ALL.

LOOKING FORWARD TO BRONAS RE:UNITED TOMORROW

HAS TO CLEAN UP DOG POOP

NEEDS TO BBAL LEH MY CLOTHES

OH MAN ITS BAAD

RIP Seagull.

today was totally scarring.

the church tutor program kids went to the beach before going to a museum, right, and we were just about ready to leave. before, we ate lunch around the tourbus, so birds hovered around us. One seagull hovered right above the street next to us and next thing you know, BLAP. A car rushed past and T-Bones the hell out of the seagull. It's lifeless body stood on the painted yellow lines, and we could do nothing but stare.

and coach steve said

damn that bird got f**ked

never

I never have been so happy. Today I stayed at church from 9:00AM to 10:30PM. yeah, fml right? it's not that I hate my lord, no, I love my god. I just miss home. So I'm deadbeat, I open the door, my dogs bark at me and I zhisney in my pants, and all I want to do is eatsleep. Its been a week since I came back from summer camp, and there's no food in my house. But, I open the freezer, and cry.

Hot pockets, philly cheesesteak sandwiches, sorbet.

Today is a very special day, because I ate my sorrow away.

that's how we do.

utter cowhoe

I have never met a bigger jerk since Kuzko of the emperor's new groove.

Imma call this jerk ShadyD, cause she's shadier than the dark side of the moon.

ShadyD thinks she's boss, but she's not. She thinks she can surveillance me all the time, but she can't. what im trying to say, and not to be offensive (ah what the heck, this is offensive), she's a failure. Probably a test from Boghu, cause I promised myself that i wouldn't let emotion get in the way of work, but DAMN SHE'S ANNOYING.

ShadyD tells BigBoss that I come to work LATE all the time, that I go to the BATHROOM all the time, and that I leave for break TOO EARLY.

DID I MENTION THIS IS A EFFIN T.A. POSITION FOR A CHURCH SCHOOL?

NIGGUH, then she tells me in front of my face that my homieJ can't work as a basketball T.A. because she assumes his GPA isnt high enough.

GPA for an athletic sport? lolol

First of all, homieJ's GPA is well over your 3.3 requirement, so suck it.

looks like I gotta make a stop at Lowe's.

cause thats where the hoes belong.

and I happen to have a broken one!

Kids these days!

I love kids man. Not pedophile status, but I enjoy their company. I especially love it when they suffer!

Today there was a BBQ at my house and everyone was invited ya digg. And if you didn't know already, I have a pond in my yardyard. So this little kid right, we'll call him BabyFlakes, this dude falls right into the pond, only to be swallowed by ravenous fish. In actuality, this guy pops right out.

I swear I did not hear him fall, nor did I see him. Quite sure I didn't taste him. But LMAOROFL this kuntakinte was WET. Maybe it was the water, but I'm pretty sure it was his tears.

Now, to prove im not a jerk, let me tell you a story.

Back in my day, there was an infestation of frogs right, and these amphibbies like to get busy. So we end up with hella frog eggs floating around town, aka the pond. So my good friend Joseph Chon comes over and is like

Aye suckah, hit me up wit sum tadp0le eggz

but in a sweeter, less aggressive tone.

So I'm balancing myself on a rock, trying to get good ol' Joseph Chon some eggs, when I fell into the abyss. That water's cold man.

Stone cold

i didnt die

just thought that you wanted to know. the worst part of camping is the crap that gets caught on your socks. those niggies are everywhere. and for some freakin reason, i get sunburn on my ears regardless of the protection. I had several layers of sunblock and a towel over my head, but they still get burned

and oh noes i have to do my summer reading and whatnot and advanced placement united states history.

f school man

its better outdoors

cause you know, you got the muthaeffin mosquitos, the disgusting portapotties, and shameful wildlife that could kill you.

no matter, im going church camping as a activity group leader (dammit) and will be MIA for many years. If I die, remember there's a TIEM CAPSULE in my backyard so you can go dig it up to see the wondrous memories of Bronas.

question is, do I need to bring the slingshot? I don't want to get in trouble, but I also dont want to get murdered by a man, mauled by a bear, or speared by a pig. Or even worse...an encounter with MANBEARPIG?

WHERE'S AL GORE?


IM SUPER CEREAL GUYS!!!!!!

Things i desparately need RIGHT NOW

I REALLY NEED THESE THINGS

Survival Knife

Machete

spark rocks

zune hd

bow and arrow

flashlight hat

flashlight

BB gun

BBs

chicken quesadilla combo with a fruitista freeze

dont ask me why, I just need it now

haha DAMN

TODAY WAS SO AWKWARDLY FUNNY

Jonathan was changing behind a wall in the gym today (one of the portable ones) and a teacher from summer academy was coming towards the corner of the wall. jason and I were playing ball and I stopped and saw the terror. Jonathan, without a shirt, being closely approached by old teacherlady. Teacherlady turns the corner sees Jonathan and goes

"oops sorry"

and jonathan is like

"Eeeek!"
no joke man


Then jason jonathan and I went to duh new park and did normal mall things. we go into a pacsun and suddenly jonathan goes oO and speeds to the back of the store. im like wtf mate and suddenly some hookeen girl goes HEY JOHNO. I look at this hookeen and I'm like
"damn shawty"
Then we see her again and she goes
"are you following me?!"
whats even better is that this hookeen likes to dance to the music of the store

THIS IS THE BEST
we end up at jonathans house to chill. jonathan's dog, Niko/Nicco/Nico/Neeko/etc comes out and jason and I start messing with him. I turn the dog on the back and start rubbing his belly and jason comes up and wiggles his finger on the dog and goes
"what's this?"

it was the dog's penis.

Fourth of July Notes

Purple Rain and Flash Dance are awesome and last forever

minimonsters suck arse

the key to making modified piccolo petes are in the positioning of the tape..

Today was VERY disappointing. jason and i wasted 5 batches of piccolo petes trying to make them into rockets. at our third to last one, it was finally able to blast for about a second before exploding. Using our last two, we were unable to recreate the scenario. dag yo

THEN SOME FAGOT JERK RAN OVER OUR LAST PURPLE RAIN.

Some car rolls into the court, i see him smiling, and im like okiE? Then he turns to leave the court and then i saw the series of unfortunate events. the purple rain and the mini monster (the last two sparkling fireworks) on the ground. I'm like "oh, no dis is duh bad one". The front wheel narrowly miss it, but the hind wheels popped them. then he drove off. there was much sorrow and grief.

mark my words, random driver, i will find you.

so close ah bon

close to the one week of freedom of where i dont have to do anything. except for tutoring kids...and helping out in the little kids basketball camp...aw crap.

so close.

but so far

thats nice

its damn nice to finally have a blanket over myself when i sleep. this weather is no good..whether you want to disagree or not. its no good

THATS IT

IM TIRED OF THESE MOTHEREFFIN MOTHS, IN THIS MOTHEREFFIN HOUSE

boo

I played basketball for the first time in a week today. The whole past week has been nothing but labor and it's taking its toll on me :(

but yes, I played again, and was defeated. many times

I think i lost 5 games in a row, won 5. maybe I was just tired, but wow i was sweating like a beast.
probably my fault though, i ate fast food every day at night during the past week. im starting to get a sweaty stomach.

time for a new invention : stomach deodorant

Very Nice!

today was great because it felt like summer. went to the local burger place for a hotdog (dont kill me), and then spent like 6$ on those vending machines with the toys.

Struck gold man.


The following items
2 Dingos, 2 pokemon keychains, Sarah Silverman action figure, a sticky hand, the Brain, a 8ball, and a ring.

They are on sale in a bundle only, bidding starts at 100$.

Also, another great progression in human history.

TIEM CAPSULE

Let all with eyes see the glory of this ditch.


2012 here we come

back finally

I can finally get a goddamn 8 hours of sleep. for some reason, i'm starting to miss school, just because it was organized. Yes, I am muy ordenado. Wakeup, eat,shower, school, walk home, computer, TV, sleep. Not the best life ever but it's reasonable. And I do love the reasonable.

I'm too caught up in one aspect of my life that I feel that everything else is rotting like a cheesecake. I do believe this calls for only one thing: rollercoasters. Let's go to Six Flags or something, I have to go kick that Zombie from the frightfest's arse. He's a dick for not letting me take a picture of him.

dumb zombies

in other news, I found two disposable cameras from the church trip to mexico. quite excited to get these filminated.

ITS NOT SUMMER

I'm busier during my summer break than I was ever during school. wtf dude. I have to bust a bone over some dishes and specialed kids. At least I'm getting cash though, unfortunately, it'll be gone in no time. I shouldn't even be stressing over this council stuff and I still have that nagging feeling to just quit before more things come up. Because the last thing I need is more pressure on an already stressed situation.

whered my happy-go-lucky self go :|

hella stupid

its hella stupid when your stupid foot kicks something stupid like the stupid corner of the stupid couch and you always kick the stupid toe of your stupid foot. freakin hell man...now my stupid foot is hurting and i gotta go wash some stupid dishes in the stupid morning for stupid people. fml...just kidding. i love everything except for the stupid moments like kicking the stupid corner of the stupid couch.

this isnt summer

bewcause im working all day and not sleeping eonough fmkl

its nice

to realize that all you need is time to lay down in the dark with some friends and pork and beans

ah busy busy

when the hell do i get free time :(

today is freakin nuts man

let me share my first driving experience, since it was so momentable.

So driving is pretty fun, i like when there are no cars around me, so I can be a jerk and shift lanes anytime i want to. I must say that merging into the traffic from a parking lot sucks a lot of lemons. I almost got hit when I entered alvarado niles from the lot.

OH WAIT

before I almost got hit, the indian lady instructor told me to park in the parking lot with Jiro and the Korean market. This lady has the nerve to go into the Indian Grocery store and make me wait there for like 10 minutes. what a jerk huh

then I almost get hit by a car bahahbabalbhjlbhab

my time was up, so i drove to the next lessonier's house, who apparently is in my math class.

hes like "hey! you're in mrs. lee's class huh?"

and im all like : Yee boyeeeeeeeeeee
(who der hell is this guy)

As I try to get back into the road from a stopsign, the car in front of me starts to back up.
I just sit there and watch the car back into mine and we collide. My indianladyinstructors all like WADAFAK MAN, and I'm like, LOL HE BACKED INTO US. The dude in the back is all like WTF BRO.

A small azn dude comes out from his noob car and is like
Hey man, nothing bad on your car, nothing bad on my car, go home k?

and im like k.

YEAH!

Today I drove in the ghetto corolla with that ghetto indian. nothing much actually, cept some car backed into me and the ghetto indian was like 

and i was like

nah

Quite the Day

I had a big mac for the first time in my life

(OMG U STUFPID FAG U NEVER TRIED A BIG MAC? WTF IS RONG WIT U MAN BLUD)

And I must say I haven't been missing out on much :)

WHOA WTF

LOOK AT THAT! THAT'S A FIRETRUCK. OMGOMGOMGOMOGMOMGOMGOMOGMGOMGOMGOMGOGMOGMOG

So it turns out our garage is borken, but as we(family) were trying to fix it, we heard WEOOOO. I'm like "Aw crap, we're being too loud and now the coppers are gonna take us in". But by a stroke of unfortunatity, it turned into the neighbors driveway. My heart sank a little, but oh well. I got a picture of a FIRETRUCK.

OGMOGMOGMGOMOGMOGMOGMOMGOMOGMOGMOGMOGMOGMOGMGOMGOGM

Recess: School's Out

Note to self: watch that movie again.

So woot, school out for forever until fall. So I guess it's time for a SEMESTER REVIEW

Dear future sophomores, if youre awesome like me, you'll want to have my schedule. HERE WE GO

1st period : Coach Guscette
Unfortunately, he retires this year, so you're out of luck. BUT IF YOU DID HAVE THE UNLUCKINESS TO HAVE HIM, you'd experience 2 laps EVERY DAMN DAY, even in the freakin rain. At least the unit papers are easy, which is the equivalent to a test. Also, he has a special stretch that he does while the kids run...if I could, I would show you...but I cant.

2nd period : Mrs. Gallup
You know, at first, I thought she was actually cool. I did all my work, you're typical A student. But near the end of the year, she started being a hoemo. Like straight up ignored me and wanted to destroy every little kid's dream of getting an A. Her finals are stupid hard and don't even relate to the teaching material. Kill her while you get the chance. No, just kidding.

3rd period : Mrs. Lee
Perhaps the greatest teacher ever. She's awesome and let's you do w/e, and never gets mad. She hated me, but it's ok, she didn't care what I did. Just listen in class and she'll show you shortcuts that would have made Algebra II very easier.

4th period : Lunch
At Jimmy's, there's an old white lady and an old mexican lady. The mexican is a BIG JERK, so avoid her always. THe white lady always calls you "honey" or "sweetie" so she makes lunch that much better. eeeh

5th period : Sr. Vazquez
He's hip, he's Mexican, and he likes to wear custom addidas. Chances are you'll never be as cool as him. But he enjoys the effort you make, and thus, he will like you and give you mucho brownie points. Comprende cabron? No me digas!

6th period : Ms. Papas/Ms. Lange
I hate them both with a passion, because they always ask these stupid question that want you to "think". For example, what caused WWII? You could say the invasion of Poland, but noooo, Ms. Lamers always want reason, appeals to emotion, and rape. wait wat

7th period : Mr. Hannigan
YOU MUST GET THE SMART CLASS
YOU MUST GET THE SMART CLASS
YOU MUST GET THE SMART CLASS
YOU MUST GET THE SMART CLASS
YOU MUST GET THE SMART CLASS
YOU MUST GET THE SMART CLASS
I swear if you don't get into the well-behaved class, Mr Hannigan hates you instantly. I had the luck of getting into the BAD class, thus he hated us all. It's hard to get lower than a C in his class, but it's hard to get an A. So it's w.e.

So there you go, Super Smash Sophomores (lol)
wake me up when september ends, eh Pacha?

Logan Basketball : G-Rated

By G-rated, I mean GANGSTA rated.

Today, I decided to play basketball with my friend Cuong. We planned a nice, quaint juan-on-juan game when these two indian THUGZ come out of nowhere and are like

AYE AZNZ, LES GET A GAEM?

I'm 100% sure they were two special kids from the special class, cause...yeh. One guys name, Big D, or that's what his friend called him, was like straight up aerodynamically enhanced to perform under windy conditions.

Now Big D's friend, we'll call him lebron, since he muttered that out somehow, was threes master. He'd take wild shots and make them somehow.

They decided to play a series of 3, going up to 21. Apparently, we were the Lakers, and they were the Cavs/Magic/and Clippers. Cuong and I were like, stroking everything, making all the spectators JIZZ IN THEIR PANTS. Then, they started straight up CHEATING. Lebron was doubledribbling like every dribble, and you know what he says? LEBRON ALWAYS GETS AWAY WITH THE DOUBLE. W/e man, stroke a 3 and FACIAL.

You know whats the scariest thing? When special kids get angry. They're so damn unpredictable. YOu know what they do to me?!
I go up for the rebound, Lebron comes out of nowhere and hugs me VICIOUSLY. I pissed my pants man, I didn't know what to do.

LOOK AT THAT. THAT HAPPENS TO BE MY FAVORITE WHITE SHIRT.
I'm all like, wtf mang, and Lebron tells me (and I quote)
"you know man...man.. you know. .. that happens...you know...man...i ripped like...ripped like 5 shirts playing....you know man...man...things happen...you know...you know man?"

I'm like, w/e. 3's and facial.

Yeh, we won all the games.

Yup, we beat two special ed kids in a game of basketball. Cherish this moment forever.

The Final Final

So here's how the finals are gonna go down.

P.E. Who cares?

Chemistry, should I go for an A? Or be content with my B?

HCM, omfgwtfbbq I have no idea.

Spanish, Sr Vazquez tells me that I need a 15% on my final to pass the class with an A. What am I going to do ;-;

History, NP

English, just gimme the B

This is how its gonna go down. With no frown

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY THIS IS SO DAMN FUNNY?

See more funny videos and Cute Animals Videos at Today's Big Thing.

So you want to be korean eh?

I'm sorry, but if you can't meet these requirements, then I'm afraid you cannot become one.

You don't know the requirements? They're in page 5 of your Human Handbook. Here's an excerpt.
______________________________________________________________
The Korean Requisites
If one is to define him/herself as Korean, then one must be readily able to identify to these terms:
A. Must own popular Korean product: "Chocopie"
Chocopies are the symbol of Koreanhood, as it defines the true nature of the Korean. Delicious all the way.

2. The guardians/parents of the said Korean must mispronounce the following words:
A.Three
B. Syringe
C. Hello
D. Thank
E. (possibly) Earth

If both these requirements are met, then one is indeed legally identified as Korean.
______________________________________________________________

Hot Stuff

oh no!

I can't believe school's almost over. I think so far, this has been the best school year because I feel that I know who I am. azn

Anyways, finals are coming up the corner and theyre ready to rape me in the butt so I need to prepare myself (to avoid being raped).

Which I haven't been doing...in chem I play DS, in precal i watch movies, spanish is w/e since I am el heroe, history there's azns that mess with me, and english... the teacher hates me so who cares.

Soon it'll be summer, and worst of all, i'll be even busier than I was during school.

Quizzical

I came upon some Cutter bug spray the other day while searching for a band-aid for my hurting toe (not that you needed to know)

I read the headline, it said "MAKES YOU INVISIBLE TO BUGS".

Then I sat down on the counter and pondered over this. What good comes out of making you invisible to bugs? I did some research and it turns out bugs don't really care how ugly you look.

So riddle me this, Cutter manufacturer demons, what happens if a bug decides to lay its brood on the magically floating clothes they see ( because clothes dont go invisible, go figure ), because they believe a flying shirt is the perfect haven for their children? Yes, now we're screwed, because now we have an useless product that makes you invisible to bugs when we really need something to actually kill the damn thing. I suggest rubbing poison oak on yourself when you go outdoors, keep those pesky pests off of you.

i do not endorse any of my advice, nor use it

Uncle Jonathan's Corncob Pipe!

It turns out now that I am no longer a child. Because children don't have debit cards. Which I have. Thus, I am not a child...which I said already.

Anyways, I have 150$ in my debit, but I dunno what to do with it.

So you might as well ask me for my debit card info and PIN so that you can put it to good use.

Just try! You know what they say :
"60% of the time, it works every time"

whattajerk

Im sorry, but this is why we cant have nice things. Because people like JOHNNY KIM who like to ruin other people's TIES writing day with their nonsense games.

This is why we're not playing starcraft
This is why I'm not writing my TIES essay
This is why I'm still on this blog

brb i have to feed my employees

???

What do you get when you combine brawn, manpower, and plastic together?
Ill tell you what you get.


AWW YEAH!
SNAP YO FINGERS
DO DUH STEP
WE CAN DO IT AAWW BY OURSELVES
LEMME SEE YOU DO IT

oh wait. you cant ahahahashahsa
Using the sheer force of 2 azns and a dad, we managed to construct this construction marvel in only THREE hours. Can you do it? No you cant.

SO GO SUKKIT

NATURE SUCKS MAN

I was walking home today and I saw a snake man. It was nasty and nasty. It was like 10 cm long, but it still scared the hell out of me.

If you did not know, snakes suck. Its a scientific fact. The way they move? sucks. What they do to your blood? sux. did you know snakes often eat their young because they sucks? now you know. knowledge is power.

ALSO while I was walking home from school, a bumblebee hit me on the head. no joke. I see a black blur and it beebutted my head. so duh hurt man.

i also saw a bird eat a mosquito. mucho calor.

oh what? youre not scared of snakes?

here is spiderman eating snake

heres a wtfcking huge snake that got ownd by pikachu. wtf that f huge.

and heres a fckin snake eating a fckin cow. A GODDAMN COW.

are you scared now? because I am

I just jizzed in my pants. in a bad way

Its not hot til it's icy hot

so apparently i hurt my arm today for no apparent reason, so i suggested to myself to use an icy hot patch, you know, just for fun.

so after slappin it to my skin, i waited eagerly for the icy hotness. didn't really hit me, til after about 2 hours.

the heat was like a thousand suns, i could not wait for the cold.

the cold was like a thousand glaciers collapsing on the membrane of skin, i could not wait for taking it off

so i did. and here i am.

bored.

You know what I haven't done in a while?

Play some GTA. Oh the glory days of randomly driving around, looking for a Phoenix or Cheetah, spamming preciousprotection or nuttertools or comeflywithme. Good times, good, pointless times. Also have not been playing starcraft lately, I guess I'm becoming more non azn everyday, yadigg?

brb gonna play some GTA

BOO BOO BOO

BOO BOO BOO
that's all you freakin hear when the visitor side goes for a free throw. Don't fans know that they're immune to it?

So here I am, telling you how to totally psych out your freethrowerer.

Step 1) TOTAL SILENCE
Man, that guy's gonna be all like wtf is this sound...it's no sound?

Step 2) BIG EYES
Look at the freethrowerer obliquely (courtesy of Mr Hannigan). Make sure he knows you're staring at him, so he's probably going nuts e.g. "why the freaker is that foo staring at me obliquely? it's totally making me go nuts"

Step 3) PUT ON YOUR RAPE FACE
For example


If all else fails you can go to optional Step 4a)

Step 4a) Get wrist control. You want to let the other person know that you're in charge. Then, pull out your gun.

In other news, my dad owes me 5$. I beat him juan-on-juan in a game going up to 20.

I gave him a 15 point head start.

gee willickers, its hot

Luckily for me, I know how to make a mean, pink strawberry smoothie. The heat seems to increase the flavor tenfold. But, my smoothie would not exist without my Magic Bullet blender. Yes, as seen on TV.

You may be wondering, why der hell is it called a Magic Bullet?

Well it makes blending so FAST, it's like a bullet. Why does it taste so good? That's the magic, baby.

Anyone need a persuasive essay topic?

Cause I got you right here.

THESIS: The world needs to change up their eating habits. Dinner is in the morning, and breakfast is at night.

REASON:
1) I want to wake up to a steak. Who doesn't want a steak for dinner? Maybe a little mashed potato and gravy on the side, and a nice cup of rice. ooooh baby

2) Cereal tastes better at night. It was like 11:30, and I was dead hungry. I tasted cocoa puffs and, dear lord, they are very chocolately. No wonder that bird is nuts.

I only have two reasons, because those two reasons will win you whatever you want. Like a chocolate pie.

HERE COMES...A BLAST FROM THE PAST

Back in my day, there was a Carrow's near the safeway on decoto. although now it's the mongolian hot pot, i still remember the glorious breakfasts that was Carrow's. Oh those pancakes, the scrambled egg, the bits of bacon. Why have we fallen apart?

Not that you needed to know, but I used to puke after each visit to Carrow's cause I would eat too much of the deliciousness. Again, not that you needed to know.

Also, back in my day, kites were all the rage. It was the same as having a cellphone. Yeh, you could be texting whoever you want, but I'd be flying my damn kite.

Anyways, I had a kite when I was a wee lad. It was a cloudy day, but my sister and I went to park to fly it. Alas, we were too weak, and our kite did not get air. But we tried anyways, and then I fell. Yo cayo en la parque. My leg was all muddy and my stupid kite didn't go anywhere.

Now that's the american dream. ride on

Dear Lord

I just remembered my old xanga account. It dates back to August 9, 2005... I was an incredible losah.

Here's an excerpt:

hello read my name i own my company.PARAGWAFFAW!! for now my company consist of sausage minersville(aka jason lee)if u like to b a part of my co. contact me at 1800 CALLATT remember cheap for u and cheap for them

INCREDIBLE LOSER

hmmm

hey bubs...what to say eh? sooo boredio. trying to put this bg on my xang but dont work so uhh see u l8ters

INCREDIBLE LOSER

And another...

hey guys we got a new member joenia stinkerman.well...watever.anyways me and jason started playing my ball game at church and then everyone wanted to play and yeah...sooner or later allen kicked the ball in james face and he started to cry.then johno kicked the ball in jasons rib and yea. but today is monday so yea gb IS workin (yay!)and yea

so yea and yea bb

INCREDIBLE LOSER

one more, for the laughs

wait rewind erase its tuesday and my gecko has gone crazy it will go in solitary

later that day...

okok today is tuesday my bad

and if you look at the date...
Wednesday, August 18, 2004

INCREDIBLE LOSER

Bonus !

hello again my sis is comin back yay!(no im juss kidding) sigh she bebber bring me a gift or she will recieve a extremely warm welcome.nothang new and uhh yea and who the freaker is spaghetti monki?

I said "what the freaker".

I'm gonna start saying that again. Ohohohoohohohoho

girls r gross

Living in a house of girls has made realize something. After they deuce...IT SMELLS HELLA BAD. I mean damn it smells mad. Well it's no surprise though, they never flatulate in public. They complain it's hella gross that us men fart in public? they should take whiff after they do their thing.

Z!

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Cereal Mascots need to Step Up

I'm talking to you, Lucky Charms Leprechaun.

You're a damn mythical monster of good ol' Ireland. Use your magical power and backhand those damn kids. Don't let those kids take your marshmallows. Show them what's fer. I think you need to make a bomb marshmallow. That'll screw up their lives.

You, too, Trix rabbit. Wtf is your problem man. You can't take a piece of colorful grain away from little kids? you dumb hoe. you dont deserve to be a male. you got the legs man, USE THEM. USE THEM. Step 1. Grab cereal Step 2. Eat cereal Step 3. Go nuts. and stop being so broke man, get your own nasty yogurt. Since you gotta follow those kids, you might as well get yourself a Go-gurt. Yeah, then read those stupid jokes little kids send in for those bored enough to read.

And Chip the wolf? wtf man. youre a god damn wolf. do you not know the story of your great grandfather, twice removed? that beast swallowed a GRANDMA, and you're telling me you cant take a box of (FAKE) cookies? you make me sick. and where the hell did that retarded dog go anyways? I'm tired of this wussy named Chip.

Buzz the bee? you've got to be kidding me. Buzz, listen to me. GET A LIFE. You're a bee, you don't belong in the cereal business. No one cares that you've saved the honey a countless number of times, from wasps(wtf) and mum-bees(dear lord). At least move beehives man, yours is full of idiots who can't save their honey if it was jammed up their buttholes.

Tony the tiger: no one wants to wear your damn stripes. You're the reason why tigers are almost extinct, cause you like to rape little kids in your "sports". you sick bastard.

HEY, GENERAL MILLS, IF YOU WANT TO SELL CEREAL, GET A BETTER MASCOT.

Here's one.


THIS IS BLAZER. HE'S A CHIHUAHUA WHO LIKES TO USE STEROIDS TO KILL ANYONE WHO GETS IN HIS WAY. IF YOU EAT BLAZER'S CEREAL, BLAZECRAZEFLAKES, THEN HE WON'T EAT YOUR FACE OFF. YOU CAN TELL THIS DOG IS NOT MESSING AROUND, LOOK AT THOSE EYES. IF YOU'RE BLIND, YOU BETTER PRAY TO GOD THAT YOU HEAR HIM BUSTING DOWN YOUR DOOR, CAUSE HE'S COMING FOR YOU.

Available in your local cereal section.

An Observation

So today as i was walking to school, i stepped on a slug. It was HELLA gross man. When i stepped on it, i felt the slug puff up spew its livers and brains all over the bottom of my shoe. Then I got that feeling where you just keep reliving the moment over and over, then my mind started going dumb and I imagined myself being drowned in slugness. Hella gross.

You know what really grinds my gears? Slugs are too retarded to grab a shell like its hot sister, the snail. Those fools be rocking their shells like its nobody's business. A snail got 99 problems, but a shell aint one. Cause it has one. So suck it, slug, and go get a life. And a shell while you're at it.

You know whats also great about snails? They come in different varieties. For example:
Fig.1a)
Snails are so kind. They let their homies hitch a ride when they're drunk. Snails : Designated Drivers. Always

Fig.1b)
This is a snail. His name is John. How do I know? John is a friendly snail who likes to get to know everyone and does this by tagging his shell. Snails : Artistic & Social

Fig.1c)
LOOK AT THIS SNAIL. THIS SNAIL IS YELLOW. YELLOW = ASIAN. KEVIN = ASIAN. THROUGH THAT ONE LAW I TALKED ABOUT BEFORE (a=b=c=d), I MUST BE A SNAIL. MY ETHNICITY IS INFINITELY EXPANDING

Fig.1d)
This is one colorful snail! I never knew snails come in this kind. Wow, this is...wait...what the hell is this. That's a baby. Who in the hell is that baby trying to fool? HEY. BABY. YOU'RE NOT A SNAIL. I DONT EVEN THINK YOU'RE YELLOW. GET OUT. GET. OUT.

damn posers.

It seems to me that

I won the waiting game. My beloved D2 came a day early and im basking in the awesomeness. haha, you lost suckers.

Aww yeah, today i got my library cards. I hope that my ancestors in feudal korea are proud of me. Yaeh. Got nothing on this. Once I verify my address its gonna go like

Boom check out boom return boom check out boom return

GOT NOTHING ON THIS

NOW EXCUSE ME WHILE I KISS THE SKY

How sucks are we?!

So apparently the SWINE FLU is very alive, killing almost 100 people. ONE HUNDRED PEOPLE. (but no one cares that the seasonal flu that kills hella more, but don't tell anyone!)

anyways, i decided to TAKE action and google it some. It sez for me to prevent getting it, i should wash my hands regularly (which means at least every 13 seconds). Since I obviously don't have the luxury of a portable sink, i needed some hand sanitizer. Looking at the Hand Santizing section of the local safety way, I was appalled.

They only killed 99.99% of germs.

Wadahell man. I want to prevent sickness, not get infected by the .01% of germs that i want to avoid. stupid humanity has failed me once again.

Now I'm just waiting to hear that swine flu alters the slogan to

KILLS 99.98% OF GERMS.

damn humans

And now we just play the waiting game

its the game where you just wait
and wait.

today's game is waiting for my mp3 player to get back from wherever it was sent to to get fixed.

winner gets satisfaction.

now let's wait.

and wait.

but dont wait like this guy waits..
.

ITS A SIGN

Ladies and Gentlemen, today I will show you that fruits have a mind of its own.
wahlah. In case of those who are NOT korean, it says sah lahng heh, which translates to I LOVE YOU.

No, i did not write this (I swear on the existence of a round earth), and I'm POSITIVE that no one in my house wrote it.

Yesterday I decided to clean my bedpost, which hasnt been touched in months, maybe like 4. I came upon this mandarin/orange/tangerine/tangello, when i noticed some strange markings. Unlike Shaq, I was able to examine it for myself, so the efforts to create Shaqtopia were NOT all for naught.

SO this is what I'm thinking.
1) The mandarin/orange/tangerine/tangello is female, or a gay guy.
2)Probably in it's mid-40's. This is determined through the Kevin-Orange Proportion Principle of 2009. 1 Human Month = 10 mandarin/orange/tangerine/tangello years
3)For all the (mandarin/orange/tangerine/tangello) years I've allowed it to sleep by my side, the mandarin/orange/tangerine/tangello has allowed it's feelings to come forth.
4)The reason why it is inscribed and rather not spoken, is because the vocal chords of the mandarin/orange/tangerine/tangello are muffled by the outer casing, which is, the peel.

MY CONCLUSION
FRUITS : FREAKIN STUPID

OH DEAR LORD

strikes bladder congestion right when i get to school, it's not sweet.

hes got a SICK sense of humor.

Whered all these bugs come from?

Today I woke up to find a moth on my blanket. Those little jerks who eat your clothes and put unsightly holes in them. It's gonna be a long war.

But remember, I come out victorious.

http://saturday-city.blogspot.com/2008/04/insects-1-kevin-5.html

PEOPLE' HAVE YOU GONE INSANE?

Why must you refuse the deliciousness that is mustard? have you not realized the power of the yellow paste? this goes out for the asians: asians are "yellow". Mustard is "yellow". (activate ultimate azn powers) so' if we replace the matter on hand to a variable' we get asians = yellow = mustard. if a = b = c' then by this law i now proudly proclaim that asians = mustard. DEAL WITH IT' YOU CANT HIDE WHATS REALLY INSIDE.

Suns Smiling

It's so beautiful.
oh wait
NO ITS NOT
Dear Sun.
I speak on behalf of the world, youre getting too close. I regret to inform you that although you are a ray of light on most occasions, i will have to ask that you BACK THE HELL OFF. TOO CLOSE
TOO HOT.
You have until Friday to pack your things and move back.

...

as i lay in bed
staring overhead
i see the jaws of pain
falling on me like rain

i can see there is death
waiting for my last breath
i was about to join the departed
until i loudly farted

man being emo is hard :O

??

I swear my head smelled like a fish today.

Im not crazy

SHUT UP

no wait, it does

BRB SHOWER

Tips from a fellow survivorman to you

1. NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE WEATHER
Or it will RAPE YOU IN THE BUTTHOLE, no freakin joke. You would think that shorts would be sufficient since you would be going uphill all day, but NO. its gonna get COLD, especially if you go in the morning.
What should you do?
PACK EXTRA LAYERS IN BACKPACK

2. YOU ARE THE MASTER RACE, TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT
On the way to your destination, you may come upon wild, ferocious animals, such as wild cows. You have two choices: a) eat it and make beef jerky, or b) avoid it. I will not go into detail about choice a), since it's too beastly for words. But if you want to avoid it, be confident in your humanness. This will especially be useful when a cow stands between your goal and you.
What should you do?
Go up to the cow, if it still has the guts to stand in front of you, shove out your thumbs, and tell him/her to SUCK IT.

3. WIND IS POWERFUL, BUT AN IDIOT
On the occasion where there are blistering cold winds, it is important to know how to handle it. Wind is your greatest enemy, for it can strike every part of your body. But, it also happens to be an idiot, and cannot find you if you hide. Some tips: a) wind goes in one general direction b) wind is cold only when it finds you.
What should you do?
Find a rock that is against the wind, and hide the hell behind it. The wind will avoid you like the final plague god sent upon egypt (SHAZAM)

4. MUGGERS
Your mugger is on the trail next to you, and he's mugging you. He mugging you while you are hiking.
What should you do?
Wrist control. Take his wrists and see how you're in control? Then, take out your gun. See? Completely motionless.

In the end, it should look something like this.


Cold, chapped lips, sunburn, windburn, and of course, a shaved head. Don't forget the awkwardly positioned eyebrows since the sun is in your way.

MISSION PEAK IS NO MATCH FOR AZNS