day 7: pride

"As long as you are proud you cannot know God. A proud man is always looking down on things and people: and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you."

Humble pie. The manna of high school youth group. The consequence of getting too ahead and indulging in yourself.

God will give you a large serving of humble pie.

Nothing made me more scared, still I think, eating humble pie is one of my biggest fears. But why? Because humble pie threatens one's pride and pride is the great root of all sin. Pride is what caused the devil to oppose God, pride is what makes us put our own desires in front of God's. Pride is saying, "you know what God? I got this, take a step back." This is pride, and now I realize how prideful I had become in my actions and my words and my attitude.

I feel like God's will and my will haven't aligned even though I'm asking for it.

that's because of your pride

I feel so burdened and burnt out from everything

that's because of your pride

I feel like I'm never winning in life and I'm taking all these Ls.

that's because of your pride 

I feel like -

it is your pride. 

People kept telling me 'you are capable,' from the closest to the most random. They're not wrong, but I wish I heard that as 'you are capable because God is capable.'

I thought I had a handle on things, but when everything fell apart, I questioned God as to why he gave me these hands and this heart if everything I toil for just dies?

Pride.

It is pride that made me think that these hands were to be used for my own purposes. It is pride that led me to believe that this heart was made for something other than God's glory. That any part of me was greater than any part of You.

"The point is, He wants you to know Him: wants to give you Himself. And He and you are two things of such a kind that if you really get into any kind of touch with Him you will, in fact, be humble - delightfully humble..."

fire up the oven Lord, I'm ready for some pie.