what makes something good? what makes something bad? WHY DOES THIS QUESTION KEEP COMING UP?
"it is no good asking for a simple religion. after all, real things are not simple... If we ask for something more than simplicity, it is silly then to complain that the something more is not simple"
I want the easy way out, in everything. Zero ambition, zero determination, the sad collapse in the face of any struggle. only picking battles that I know I can win, avoiding the challenges because I don't want to get hurt... let me stop there before I reach the word count with reasons why I suck.
when you constantly build your life wide and not deep, there is no reason to be surprised that the slightest rain shreds your paper reality. and in this conviction emerges the realization that even in religion I had built out and not in.
all I've been praying for is simplicity. a straight answer, an actual voice from God. I When God answers you, he says: yes, no, or not now. I cried out, God God why do you keep sending me "not now" replies when I need an answer.
You misunderstood, it was never a "not now," it is no.
Christianity is NOT simple, life is NOT simple, God is NOT simple. How can you explain physics using your ABCs just because all you know is the alphabet?
Fun fact: this world is completely stupid and utter chaos. My very existence is everything and everyone including my own pancreas is trying to kill me. but despite this madness, you find a sliver a truth.
And this sliver is faith: to understand and accept that this cruel, unrelenting place we call home has been overcome by a force greater than life itself, and a portion of this power resides in you.
God is a mighty warrior and Christianity is a fighting religion. Yes life is meant to be difficult (and everyone who says otherwise is a liar) but you yourself are meant to survive and in surviving you will glorify God.
"enemy occupied territory - that is what this world is"
you don't understand a lot, but really,
that's okay.
you're not supposed to.
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