know thy enemy
when i crave the christian bubble where this life is supposed to be bright and sunshine and spotless in God's light (which it is) and choose to ignore that the devil is actively working just as hard as God to claim this heart, faith collapses like a castle built on sand.
satan is real; there it is. He is powerful, deceptive, manipulative, traitorous, toxic, and even though he is not as strong as God, it does not take a lot to fool a human.
Pain is real, hurt is real. satan uses pain to hurt us directly and sometimes he uses it and makes us believe God is not there, that He is the one hurting us directly.
i was mad at God. impatient with Him. i felt rejected and ignored; unloved. but just like the most obvious plot twist in the history of plot twists, i see satan. how he took everything good and just barely touched it to make it die. and i sit in brokenness of what I used to have and the divide between what is good and what is bad has never been more distinct.
know thy enemy, then know thy God.
satan celebrates in our collapse, and reveals his doing and claims his victory; but he often celebrates too early. christ died, subject to satans greatest power: death. and satan rejoiced in the torn veil and the darkness, only to be wiped away and made powerless through the resurrection. and it is this resurrection that i also partake to not only join in its grace and glorify God, but to render satan powerless.
satan beat me and wants me to believe that he beat me, and to forget that it was never my fight to begin with. God is a mighty warrior, and He is fighting that fight for me and He's been trying to urge me to step aside and let Him take care of the deceiver. I surrender in this fight, because I was being stupid and prideful and thought I could do it.
but i don't wave a white flag, i wave a race flag; and God rushes in to fight for His people
Anyone you forgive, I also forgive. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.
just as I am forgiven, I will forgive. just as I am loved, I will love. just as I know satan, I will know my God.
i can't lose a fight that was never mine to fight,
so God do what You do.
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