Friday, November 17, 2017

day 11: infection

"If you want to get warm you must stand near the fire: if you want to be wet you must get into the water. If you want joy, peace, power, eternal life, you must get close to, or even into, the thing that has them"

honestly, i received what i sowed.

i put my trust, my efforts, my patience, my allegiance into things I knew mean nothing at the end of all this, and yet the temporary shallow joy i got out of it kept me fiending for more. and in the season of harvest i come to realize that there's no fruit to be seen.

you have to learn to listen to the words you tell others.

life is ugly. this world is ugly. and this ugly infects the hearts of those living a life in this world and who give in to this notion and in turn we become ugly.

people truly are horrible things. i myself am one of those. this is truth. but there is a greater truth, that there is nothing that God cannot revive and sanctify. Are things holy because they are holy in nature? If this is true then we as ugly things can never be more than what we are. Thank God grace is not dependent on our character.

i let myself become infected by the world because it seemed easier. i thought i would be more happier, maybe feel like im growing up for once. how horribly wrong am I?

i have decided that my life is not meant to be easy (for now hopefully). my life is not meant to be beautiful (for now hopefully). my life is not meant to be happy (for now hopefully). but its been designed and chosen to be a testament of God's goodness and glory, that despite these factors, He is faithful, and that He has a plan, and He's still working. I choose to believe, because nothing else will ever come close.

i planted garbage in the ground and the earth spit it back at me.

but its just a season, and just as they go, they come.

Now is a season to plant again
now is the time to prepare
to bloom.

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