whattajerk

Im sorry, but this is why we cant have nice things. Because people like JOHNNY KIM who like to ruin other people's TIES writing day with their nonsense games.

This is why we're not playing starcraft
This is why I'm not writing my TIES essay
This is why I'm still on this blog

brb i have to feed my employees

???

What do you get when you combine brawn, manpower, and plastic together?
Ill tell you what you get.


AWW YEAH!
SNAP YO FINGERS
DO DUH STEP
WE CAN DO IT AAWW BY OURSELVES
LEMME SEE YOU DO IT

oh wait. you cant ahahahashahsa
Using the sheer force of 2 azns and a dad, we managed to construct this construction marvel in only THREE hours. Can you do it? No you cant.

SO GO SUKKIT

NATURE SUCKS MAN

I was walking home today and I saw a snake man. It was nasty and nasty. It was like 10 cm long, but it still scared the hell out of me.

If you did not know, snakes suck. Its a scientific fact. The way they move? sucks. What they do to your blood? sux. did you know snakes often eat their young because they sucks? now you know. knowledge is power.

ALSO while I was walking home from school, a bumblebee hit me on the head. no joke. I see a black blur and it beebutted my head. so duh hurt man.

i also saw a bird eat a mosquito. mucho calor.

oh what? youre not scared of snakes?

here is spiderman eating snake

heres a wtfcking huge snake that got ownd by pikachu. wtf that f huge.

and heres a fckin snake eating a fckin cow. A GODDAMN COW.

are you scared now? because I am

I just jizzed in my pants. in a bad way

Its not hot til it's icy hot

so apparently i hurt my arm today for no apparent reason, so i suggested to myself to use an icy hot patch, you know, just for fun.

so after slappin it to my skin, i waited eagerly for the icy hotness. didn't really hit me, til after about 2 hours.

the heat was like a thousand suns, i could not wait for the cold.

the cold was like a thousand glaciers collapsing on the membrane of skin, i could not wait for taking it off

so i did. and here i am.

bored.

You know what I haven't done in a while?

Play some GTA. Oh the glory days of randomly driving around, looking for a Phoenix or Cheetah, spamming preciousprotection or nuttertools or comeflywithme. Good times, good, pointless times. Also have not been playing starcraft lately, I guess I'm becoming more non azn everyday, yadigg?

brb gonna play some GTA

BOO BOO BOO

BOO BOO BOO
that's all you freakin hear when the visitor side goes for a free throw. Don't fans know that they're immune to it?

So here I am, telling you how to totally psych out your freethrowerer.

Step 1) TOTAL SILENCE
Man, that guy's gonna be all like wtf is this sound...it's no sound?

Step 2) BIG EYES
Look at the freethrowerer obliquely (courtesy of Mr Hannigan). Make sure he knows you're staring at him, so he's probably going nuts e.g. "why the freaker is that foo staring at me obliquely? it's totally making me go nuts"

Step 3) PUT ON YOUR RAPE FACE
For example


If all else fails you can go to optional Step 4a)

Step 4a) Get wrist control. You want to let the other person know that you're in charge. Then, pull out your gun.

In other news, my dad owes me 5$. I beat him juan-on-juan in a game going up to 20.

I gave him a 15 point head start.

gee willickers, its hot

Luckily for me, I know how to make a mean, pink strawberry smoothie. The heat seems to increase the flavor tenfold. But, my smoothie would not exist without my Magic Bullet blender. Yes, as seen on TV.

You may be wondering, why der hell is it called a Magic Bullet?

Well it makes blending so FAST, it's like a bullet. Why does it taste so good? That's the magic, baby.

Anyone need a persuasive essay topic?

Cause I got you right here.

THESIS: The world needs to change up their eating habits. Dinner is in the morning, and breakfast is at night.

REASON:
1) I want to wake up to a steak. Who doesn't want a steak for dinner? Maybe a little mashed potato and gravy on the side, and a nice cup of rice. ooooh baby

2) Cereal tastes better at night. It was like 11:30, and I was dead hungry. I tasted cocoa puffs and, dear lord, they are very chocolately. No wonder that bird is nuts.

I only have two reasons, because those two reasons will win you whatever you want. Like a chocolate pie.

HERE COMES...A BLAST FROM THE PAST

Back in my day, there was a Carrow's near the safeway on decoto. although now it's the mongolian hot pot, i still remember the glorious breakfasts that was Carrow's. Oh those pancakes, the scrambled egg, the bits of bacon. Why have we fallen apart?

Not that you needed to know, but I used to puke after each visit to Carrow's cause I would eat too much of the deliciousness. Again, not that you needed to know.

Also, back in my day, kites were all the rage. It was the same as having a cellphone. Yeh, you could be texting whoever you want, but I'd be flying my damn kite.

Anyways, I had a kite when I was a wee lad. It was a cloudy day, but my sister and I went to park to fly it. Alas, we were too weak, and our kite did not get air. But we tried anyways, and then I fell. Yo cayo en la parque. My leg was all muddy and my stupid kite didn't go anywhere.

Now that's the american dream. ride on

Dear Lord

I just remembered my old xanga account. It dates back to August 9, 2005... I was an incredible losah.

Here's an excerpt:

hello read my name i own my company.PARAGWAFFAW!! for now my company consist of sausage minersville(aka jason lee)if u like to b a part of my co. contact me at 1800 CALLATT remember cheap for u and cheap for them

INCREDIBLE LOSER

hmmm

hey bubs...what to say eh? sooo boredio. trying to put this bg on my xang but dont work so uhh see u l8ters

INCREDIBLE LOSER

And another...

hey guys we got a new member joenia stinkerman.well...watever.anyways me and jason started playing my ball game at church and then everyone wanted to play and yeah...sooner or later allen kicked the ball in james face and he started to cry.then johno kicked the ball in jasons rib and yea. but today is monday so yea gb IS workin (yay!)and yea

so yea and yea bb

INCREDIBLE LOSER

one more, for the laughs

wait rewind erase its tuesday and my gecko has gone crazy it will go in solitary

later that day...

okok today is tuesday my bad

and if you look at the date...
Wednesday, August 18, 2004

INCREDIBLE LOSER

Bonus !

hello again my sis is comin back yay!(no im juss kidding) sigh she bebber bring me a gift or she will recieve a extremely warm welcome.nothang new and uhh yea and who the freaker is spaghetti monki?

I said "what the freaker".

I'm gonna start saying that again. Ohohohoohohohoho

girls r gross

Living in a house of girls has made realize something. After they deuce...IT SMELLS HELLA BAD. I mean damn it smells mad. Well it's no surprise though, they never flatulate in public. They complain it's hella gross that us men fart in public? they should take whiff after they do their thing.

Z!

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Cereal Mascots need to Step Up

I'm talking to you, Lucky Charms Leprechaun.

You're a damn mythical monster of good ol' Ireland. Use your magical power and backhand those damn kids. Don't let those kids take your marshmallows. Show them what's fer. I think you need to make a bomb marshmallow. That'll screw up their lives.

You, too, Trix rabbit. Wtf is your problem man. You can't take a piece of colorful grain away from little kids? you dumb hoe. you dont deserve to be a male. you got the legs man, USE THEM. USE THEM. Step 1. Grab cereal Step 2. Eat cereal Step 3. Go nuts. and stop being so broke man, get your own nasty yogurt. Since you gotta follow those kids, you might as well get yourself a Go-gurt. Yeah, then read those stupid jokes little kids send in for those bored enough to read.

And Chip the wolf? wtf man. youre a god damn wolf. do you not know the story of your great grandfather, twice removed? that beast swallowed a GRANDMA, and you're telling me you cant take a box of (FAKE) cookies? you make me sick. and where the hell did that retarded dog go anyways? I'm tired of this wussy named Chip.

Buzz the bee? you've got to be kidding me. Buzz, listen to me. GET A LIFE. You're a bee, you don't belong in the cereal business. No one cares that you've saved the honey a countless number of times, from wasps(wtf) and mum-bees(dear lord). At least move beehives man, yours is full of idiots who can't save their honey if it was jammed up their buttholes.

Tony the tiger: no one wants to wear your damn stripes. You're the reason why tigers are almost extinct, cause you like to rape little kids in your "sports". you sick bastard.

HEY, GENERAL MILLS, IF YOU WANT TO SELL CEREAL, GET A BETTER MASCOT.

Here's one.


THIS IS BLAZER. HE'S A CHIHUAHUA WHO LIKES TO USE STEROIDS TO KILL ANYONE WHO GETS IN HIS WAY. IF YOU EAT BLAZER'S CEREAL, BLAZECRAZEFLAKES, THEN HE WON'T EAT YOUR FACE OFF. YOU CAN TELL THIS DOG IS NOT MESSING AROUND, LOOK AT THOSE EYES. IF YOU'RE BLIND, YOU BETTER PRAY TO GOD THAT YOU HEAR HIM BUSTING DOWN YOUR DOOR, CAUSE HE'S COMING FOR YOU.

Available in your local cereal section.

An Observation

So today as i was walking to school, i stepped on a slug. It was HELLA gross man. When i stepped on it, i felt the slug puff up spew its livers and brains all over the bottom of my shoe. Then I got that feeling where you just keep reliving the moment over and over, then my mind started going dumb and I imagined myself being drowned in slugness. Hella gross.

You know what really grinds my gears? Slugs are too retarded to grab a shell like its hot sister, the snail. Those fools be rocking their shells like its nobody's business. A snail got 99 problems, but a shell aint one. Cause it has one. So suck it, slug, and go get a life. And a shell while you're at it.

You know whats also great about snails? They come in different varieties. For example:
Fig.1a)
Snails are so kind. They let their homies hitch a ride when they're drunk. Snails : Designated Drivers. Always

Fig.1b)
This is a snail. His name is John. How do I know? John is a friendly snail who likes to get to know everyone and does this by tagging his shell. Snails : Artistic & Social

Fig.1c)
LOOK AT THIS SNAIL. THIS SNAIL IS YELLOW. YELLOW = ASIAN. KEVIN = ASIAN. THROUGH THAT ONE LAW I TALKED ABOUT BEFORE (a=b=c=d), I MUST BE A SNAIL. MY ETHNICITY IS INFINITELY EXPANDING

Fig.1d)
This is one colorful snail! I never knew snails come in this kind. Wow, this is...wait...what the hell is this. That's a baby. Who in the hell is that baby trying to fool? HEY. BABY. YOU'RE NOT A SNAIL. I DONT EVEN THINK YOU'RE YELLOW. GET OUT. GET. OUT.

damn posers.

It seems to me that

I won the waiting game. My beloved D2 came a day early and im basking in the awesomeness. haha, you lost suckers.

Aww yeah, today i got my library cards. I hope that my ancestors in feudal korea are proud of me. Yaeh. Got nothing on this. Once I verify my address its gonna go like

Boom check out boom return boom check out boom return

GOT NOTHING ON THIS

NOW EXCUSE ME WHILE I KISS THE SKY

How sucks are we?!

So apparently the SWINE FLU is very alive, killing almost 100 people. ONE HUNDRED PEOPLE. (but no one cares that the seasonal flu that kills hella more, but don't tell anyone!)

anyways, i decided to TAKE action and google it some. It sez for me to prevent getting it, i should wash my hands regularly (which means at least every 13 seconds). Since I obviously don't have the luxury of a portable sink, i needed some hand sanitizer. Looking at the Hand Santizing section of the local safety way, I was appalled.

They only killed 99.99% of germs.

Wadahell man. I want to prevent sickness, not get infected by the .01% of germs that i want to avoid. stupid humanity has failed me once again.

Now I'm just waiting to hear that swine flu alters the slogan to

KILLS 99.98% OF GERMS.

damn humans

And now we just play the waiting game

its the game where you just wait
and wait.

today's game is waiting for my mp3 player to get back from wherever it was sent to to get fixed.

winner gets satisfaction.

now let's wait.

and wait.

but dont wait like this guy waits..
.