Enhance your compliments!

Too many cliched terms roam the seven seas! I am here to help!

"I'll see you later, honey."
1. Honey
In my opinion, honey is not delicious. Some people dont like it. You want to let the person know that some people hate? Then use honey.
ALTERNATIVELY YOU CAN USE:
PURE CANE SUGAR
now THIS stuff is sweet to eat.
"I'll see you later, PURE CANE SUGAR."

2. Baby
Who the hell wants to be called a baby? Babies cry, whine, eat food, poop all day, small, often chubby, weak, etc. If you want to call that person all these things, be my guest.
ALTERNATIVELY YOU CAN USE:
MATURE HUMAN
"That's mah MATURE HUMAN girl!

3. Shawty
(Actual Examples from UrbanDictionary)
1) Aye shawty! Let me holla at ya.
2) Was up shawty.
3) Mann shawty you pissin me off.
lolololololol
ALTERNATIVELY YOU CAN USE:
NICE, PRETTY GIRL

1) Aye NICE, PRETTY GIRL! Let me holla at ya.
2) Was up NICE, PRETTY GIRL.
3) Mann NICE, PRETTY GIRL you pissin me off.

BE WISE IN YOUR CHOICE OF WORDS

Sometimes I do...

fail at my finals.

Perhaps it's just me, but the morning defines my day
I go by a 3-strike-bad-day-day-system.
It goes something like : If 3 bad things happen to you throughout the day, it's a bad day.

So

1. I was HELLA constipated (not that you needed to know)
2. My math grade went from 79.5 to 76.6. (not that you needed to know)
3. I forgot lunch money thus, i did not eat lunch (not that you needed to know)

Basically, you don't need to know.
So let the dirt just shower over you

REAL LIFE COMMENTING IS BAD FOR SOUL

Disclaimer : I am also at fault for this and these views to not necessarily reflect the views of James Logan High School and/or its parent schools. wait what?

anyways

Mr Hannigan is an English teacher. He enjoys grading papers in front of the whole class (while keeping the author anonymous)
Now then, most essays are fun to read, as he finds little mistakes and jokes around. Today was the last essay to grade; I expected it to go by fast.

But hot damn, it was hella annoying.

This dude made it obvious to everyone in a 5 mile radius that the last essay was his.
Example 1.
Mr Hannigan : Well, looks like this person forgot to put a title.
This dude : (in a subtle, but noticeable tone) : but you said to put the title on the back... ;-;

Example 2.
Mr Hannigan : This word isn't the right one. One needs to understand the connotative definition of the word also.
This dude : Sorry... ;-;

Example 3.
Mr Hannigan : This is a run-on sentence.
This dude : Sorry... ;-;

Example 4.
Mr Hannigan : It isn't clear who the author is talking about.
This dude : Sorry... ;-;

Example 5.
Mr Hannigan : This paragraph could be a little clearer
This dude : Sorry... ;-;

And as this dude was bawling about every mistake spotted, I'm going like
Man stfu.

In the end, he got like a friggin 89. And this dude's all like ДЕРЬМО ДЕРЬМО ДЕРЬМО ДЕРЬМО!
(Btw stick that into an online translator...Russian to English lollol)

Now I for one got a 82 on my essay. And Mr Hannigan called me smartass. But did I cut myself after class? No. I just pooped my pants.

Some people are so inconsiderate!

BOW

WHY DO AZNS WANT THEIR KIDS TO BE DOCTORS?


CAUSE OF THIS CRAZY HOE.

THIS MAN WILL SOLVE ANYTHING
JUST TODAY I WAS WATCHING HOUSE AND CRAZY HAPPENS.
SOME LADY COLLAPSES AND START WIGGIN OUT NEXT TO HOUSE
WHAT DOES HOUSE DO?

COOLGUY JUST STANDS THERE, LOOKIN TUFF

BADASS DOESNT EVEN NEED TO WORRY ABOUT HIS HEALTH; HE TAKES DRUGS ON THE JOB. HE CALLS UP A VERY IMPORTANT MEETING IN HIS OFFICE AND WHAT DOES HE DO?

SKIPS IT AND TAKES SOME LSD

BADASS.

AND NAW MAN, YOU DONT WANNA MESS WITH THAT G HOUSE.
SOME BLACK DUDE GOES UP TO HOUSE AND IS LIKE "GO GET THE MEDICAL RECORDS"
AND HOUSE IS LIKE GLARING INTO THAT BLACK DUDE'S SOUL AND IS LIKE

"DO I GOTTA SLAP A HOE?"

DAMN NO ONE GONNA THAT DOC WHAT TO DO

AND THAT GUYS A FREAKIN REBEL. HE DO WHAT HE WANNA DO, REGARDLESS OF WHAT HES TOLD

BURN VICTIM IS ABOUT TO GET PWND, AND HIS PARENTS ARE LIKE
"DONT TOUCH MAH SON, CRAZYASS HOUSE!"

BUT HOUSE IS ALL LIKE
"STFU AND LET ME DO MY JOB"
AND SOLVES THE MYSTERY

SO COOL MAN.

AND THIS MAN, HOUSE, SPEAKS HIS MIND.
SOME PROFESSOR IS GIVIN A LECTURE, WITH HOUSE IN THE AUDIENCE, AND HOUSE GOES UP TO THAT DUDE AND IS LIKE
"MAN YOU DUNNO WHACHU TALKIN BOUT"
AND STARTS BEASTIN HIM WITH WORDS

THIS GUY SO CHILL MAN, AFTER HE BEASTS THAT GUY WITH WORDS, HE GOES AND MAKES A BOOTY CALL TO A HOOKER.

WHO THE HELL DOES THAT? HOUSE DOES

THIS GUY SO CRAZY, MAN, HE GOES THROUGH A PATIENTS PAIN, JUST CAUSE HE CAN.

HE GIVES THE PATIENT 50ML OF BURNINHURTINIXIN, HOUSE GOES AHEAD AND DRINKS THE VIAL.

WHATTAHELL?

NOW IMMA BE A DOCTOR

sweaty pants are no good

that is all.

When you see it...

you will have shat bricks

Man, all I'm trying to do is play some grand theft auto, and now it's ruined by unexpected visitors. THis sucks,yo.

BRb, gotta do some TIES.

MAN HOLD YO NUTS

For some odd reason, I can't control time and space. My HDD is borken. Anyweas, I was planning to come home, start studying for math and whatnot, maybe eat a snack, make a little laugh, and poop. But apparently that is too much to ask

4:00 Get home
4:00 - 4:05 Bathroom
4:05 - 8:53 ?????
Now it's 8:53, and I havent opened my backpack. Who dah hell is messing with my clocks? ffreakin fatties

QUITE AWKWARD

when you are parched and have to piss
when you need to poop after taking a shower
when you need AA batteries but only have AAA batteries. and vice versa
when someone successfully accuses you of committing a crime but you deny it but in actuality you are the culprit of said crime but its too late to apologize since the impression is already complete that you are an innocent and in the end the crime is never solved and you are left with guilt.

wat?

PEOPLE SCARE ME

So the crew and I were at safeway buying snacks for our fake holdem championchips slammywhammykablammy, and as we walked out, we encountered Wild Hobo.
It amazes me that the hobo did not have a convincing story.
-Lets say I was a hobo-
SOMETIMES I DO...
1st. Collect cans and bottles. Do whatever I gotta do. I see cans and bottles in my classrooms all the time. Just rob-orrow it.
2nd. Create a job. I am still waiting for a job opening for "Human Desk" or "Sand Counter"
3rd. Go on craigslist and find the lost and found section. Travel the country looking for said lost items and return them for CA$H. If it's a lost wallet, cool, take the money and be like "Yo bro, I found yo wallet. But teh cahs is gone. Btw its 10$ for the wallet." You know that dude that found Paris Hilton's lost dog? He/she is now president of his/her own country.
4th. Rob a bank.

Anways, this dude's story was something like this
"I was raped by Hurricane Katrina.
My children, i cannot sup0rt.
I need monies
No pressure man, i just need moneis.
GIMME YO MONEY"
Cept he was nice. I gave him like 84cents and he said God Bless Ya'. I was like, coo.

Then there those people who just messed up a lot. E.G. kicked out of college, lost their jobs, broken up with gf and or bf (???)
Theyre all like
1. LIFE IS FANTASTIC
2. LIFE IS GETTING ME DOWN MAN
5. LIFE PUT CUTS ON MY RISTS
3. LIFE PUT A BULLET IN MY HEAD
7. LIFE MADE ME SWITCH TO GEICO
7. LIFE MADE ME FAIL LIFE

Basically, they go crazy and refuse to do stuff anymore. like failed college student dont want school, thus no good job, thus no money, thus no house, thus living with parents, thus living in basement/attic/refridgerator, thus depression, thus medications, thus overdose, thus hospital, thus hospital bills, thus debt, thus foreclosure, thus cold streets, thus lack of hygiene, thus stinkiness, thus antisocial, thus emo, thus blood, thus infection, thus sickness.

THEN YOU DIE
That's fearful man.

5 1 liter sodas for 4$? VERY SWEET TO EAT
Microwaved cookies? VERY SWEET TO EAT
Homemade mcChickens? VERY SWEET TO EAT
DDONG BEH (EXTREME CONSTIPATION) ? NOT VERY SWEET TO EAT.
^- About that.
On Saturday morning, at 6:00 (cause i checked the time), my stomach started hurting bad. This was hella hurting, it felt like my appendix burst. (FYI i have no idea how an exploded appendix hurts, but it hurted a lot). So I'm like "it'll be better in the morning". Too bad the pain was so massive that it didnt go away. So then I tried poopin, but no avail. The pain increased. Then I forced myself to massage my belly. I woke up my mom at that time, and she was like: The gas (farts) are moving around. It hurts yo" and I was like HELL YEAH. Anyways, I massaged myself (no homo) for ahwhile and eventaully i fell asleep. At 9:00 when I woke up, I took a deuce, but nothing came out. THus started my day.

Awkward situation next time?!?#$@#?^&&*(Z*&^%

AW HELL NAW

DID MY NIKE PACKAGE GET JACKED? IT WILL RAIN BLOOD TODA- oh wait. it's sunday. sorry rain, but you will not be blood today.

In other news
I got my new compyter. I am quite content.
wow wtf. some dude got into a car crash while on the freeway. my momma saw it. jonathan and i didnt. CAUSE I WAS DOING SOCIETY A FAVOR BY SINGING ALONG TO DMC. ARE THERE NO MANNERS IN THIS WORLD?

YEAH A NEW YEAR

its been a good one 2008' but youre too old for me. a year too old to be exact. welcoming the dashingly handsome and positively radiant 2009. post one of 2009!

So far new years earning are.. 100 dollars. I invested 20$ in my dad to gamble, so hopefully i shall break even.