spurgeon's rest: 2

it is only appropriate for the first trial of my sabbath to continue reading about what it is to rest.

If you want rest come to Christ in Gethsemane, to Christ on Calvary, to Christ risen, to Christ ascended.

If you want rest, O weary souls, ye can find it nowhere until ye come and lay your burdens down at his dear pierced feet, and find life in looking alone to him. There is the precept then. Observe it is nothing but that one word, "Come."

as i read this portion of the sermon, i wonder of what it means to practically live out the verb of "come." where to i run to? what direction do i head towards? should i read the bible first? maybe the devotional book first? pray when? before or after or maybe even during?

in the midst of my brainstorming i realized, whatever path i was deciding on, whatever choice i was weighing, nothing was fulfilling the purpose of "come."

if in my heart, there is an urge to begin with prayer, then pray. if there was a tug to read, then read. just go. jesus is already there.

You prepare a table before me, in the presence of my enemies

surely the Lord who sets up a place for me in the midst of my chaos can certainly find me in this time of peace.

it really just is a command of "come." as simple as it is direct. the only supplement to that command is the one who speaks it. come to me, says Jesus. Want to write a blog post of your thoughts? do it, and continue in My direction, have faith in Me.

hey look at that, one step towards You. let's take another.

spurgeons rest: 1

O you who feel your unworthiness this morning, who have been seeking salvation earnestly, and suffering the weight of sin, Jesus will freely give to you what you cannot earn or purchase, he will give it as an act of his own free, rich, sovereign mercy; and he is prepared, if you come to him, to give it to you now, for so has he promised, 

"Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

no amount of work will ever cover my transgressions, and my weariness is a product of toiling on the soils of brokenness.

work is not meaningless, but I'm starting to understand that if I intend to dig out my sin with my own shovel, I'll just be tossing dirt over my shoulder but still in the same yard.

" come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden"

i labor for You, just not always for the right reasons. not always with the correct understanding.

today

today is not about my redemption, nor my failure, nor my success;

nor the truths that bring my conviction, nor the lies that I spend too much time thinking about,

nor the commending I received, nor the commending I expect but did not,

it is none of these, for these are things for myself.

today is Yours.

today I bring the fruits of my life to You, the victories and the defeats, I do not leave them at the door, but I bring them both to the altar.

today was worship, a reaffirmation not of what I believe but attesting to who You are:

there won't be a day, that You're not by my side

and You are.

today I give up on the battles. of uncertainty, of bitterness, of hurt and shame, that's enough for today.

I will be still and know You are good.

I will be still and know You are God.

something about tattered sails

this is what i get for not writing these things down when it hits_

if i am self conscious of my tattered sails,

maybe the last time I opened up and trusted God, the spirit of the Lord led me to places where rips and tears followed each experience, and by the end of whatever weather i've weathered, my sails are a little less clean. the more i go through the oceans and parts unknown, the more my sails become frayed. the more frayed, the more I become afraid:

will my sails last another journey?

then i stop and think.

do my sails take me to my destination?

or is it the ocean in which I place my boat, is that not the road I travel? or is it the winds that blow over me, is that not my direction? riding the Lord's wave takes a new meaning when you realize you have no say or power over the wave, but you are left with a choice: go forth or watch it pass by from a distance.

open your tattered sails and wait for the tempest to come and take you, there is no other purpose here but to go.

h o p e

but a man's reach should exceed his grasp...

why am I aiming low? taking the easy way out? sticking to what is safe?

settling for the low req. colleges? taking the GRE once?

is my hope that small? is my trust that little?

how big is your fear? how small do you feel?

stand up, try again, fail if you have to.

fail again over and over if that's what it will be.

but you will never be unloved, you will never be rejected.

and that's more than enough

something about this

Moses was a hundred and twenty years old when he died, yet his eyes were not weak nor his strength gone.

Deuteronomy 34:7

how great is His faithfulness

easter

my first response to love is:

"I don't deserve this,"

followed by a desire for an action to restore a balance.

whether it comes from my parents, my sister, my friends, even from Julianne; love received must always be responded with love given.

and I have found that having this heart leads to an incomplete love.

when it comes to the love of God, what could I ever do to repay a life sacrificed for me? what could I ever do to refund the price paid on the cross?

I cannot.

and this truth of my inability to ever give restitution for a debt of love is the reason on why I receive an incomplete love; because I do not accept without giving a portion of it back.

the essential purpose of love is not to seek a return, but it is to be accepted and stayed. yes fine fine, I am undeserving, but my weakness does not dilute the power of love because my weaknesses and shortcomings have never changed love's trajectory towards me.

so this Easter, I plan to receive. and rejoice.

thank you God for love without attachment.

thank you for people around me who love without attachment.

thank you for Julianne for her love that has no attachment.

I pray that I would love the same.