easter

my first response to love is:

"I don't deserve this,"

followed by a desire for an action to restore a balance.

whether it comes from my parents, my sister, my friends, even from Julianne; love received must always be responded with love given.

and I have found that having this heart leads to an incomplete love.

when it comes to the love of God, what could I ever do to repay a life sacrificed for me? what could I ever do to refund the price paid on the cross?

I cannot.

and this truth of my inability to ever give restitution for a debt of love is the reason on why I receive an incomplete love; because I do not accept without giving a portion of it back.

the essential purpose of love is not to seek a return, but it is to be accepted and stayed. yes fine fine, I am undeserving, but my weakness does not dilute the power of love because my weaknesses and shortcomings have never changed love's trajectory towards me.

so this Easter, I plan to receive. and rejoice.

thank you God for love without attachment.

thank you for people around me who love without attachment.

thank you for Julianne for her love that has no attachment.

I pray that I would love the same.