ITS A SIGN

Ladies and Gentlemen, today I will show you that fruits have a mind of its own.
wahlah. In case of those who are NOT korean, it says sah lahng heh, which translates to I LOVE YOU.

No, i did not write this (I swear on the existence of a round earth), and I'm POSITIVE that no one in my house wrote it.

Yesterday I decided to clean my bedpost, which hasnt been touched in months, maybe like 4. I came upon this mandarin/orange/tangerine/tangello, when i noticed some strange markings. Unlike Shaq, I was able to examine it for myself, so the efforts to create Shaqtopia were NOT all for naught.

SO this is what I'm thinking.
1) The mandarin/orange/tangerine/tangello is female, or a gay guy.
2)Probably in it's mid-40's. This is determined through the Kevin-Orange Proportion Principle of 2009. 1 Human Month = 10 mandarin/orange/tangerine/tangello years
3)For all the (mandarin/orange/tangerine/tangello) years I've allowed it to sleep by my side, the mandarin/orange/tangerine/tangello has allowed it's feelings to come forth.
4)The reason why it is inscribed and rather not spoken, is because the vocal chords of the mandarin/orange/tangerine/tangello are muffled by the outer casing, which is, the peel.

MY CONCLUSION
FRUITS : FREAKIN STUPID

OH DEAR LORD

strikes bladder congestion right when i get to school, it's not sweet.

hes got a SICK sense of humor.

Whered all these bugs come from?

Today I woke up to find a moth on my blanket. Those little jerks who eat your clothes and put unsightly holes in them. It's gonna be a long war.

But remember, I come out victorious.

http://saturday-city.blogspot.com/2008/04/insects-1-kevin-5.html

PEOPLE' HAVE YOU GONE INSANE?

Why must you refuse the deliciousness that is mustard? have you not realized the power of the yellow paste? this goes out for the asians: asians are "yellow". Mustard is "yellow". (activate ultimate azn powers) so' if we replace the matter on hand to a variable' we get asians = yellow = mustard. if a = b = c' then by this law i now proudly proclaim that asians = mustard. DEAL WITH IT' YOU CANT HIDE WHATS REALLY INSIDE.

Suns Smiling

It's so beautiful.
oh wait
NO ITS NOT
Dear Sun.
I speak on behalf of the world, youre getting too close. I regret to inform you that although you are a ray of light on most occasions, i will have to ask that you BACK THE HELL OFF. TOO CLOSE
TOO HOT.
You have until Friday to pack your things and move back.

...

as i lay in bed
staring overhead
i see the jaws of pain
falling on me like rain

i can see there is death
waiting for my last breath
i was about to join the departed
until i loudly farted

man being emo is hard :O

??

I swear my head smelled like a fish today.

Im not crazy

SHUT UP

no wait, it does

BRB SHOWER

Tips from a fellow survivorman to you

1. NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE WEATHER
Or it will RAPE YOU IN THE BUTTHOLE, no freakin joke. You would think that shorts would be sufficient since you would be going uphill all day, but NO. its gonna get COLD, especially if you go in the morning.
What should you do?
PACK EXTRA LAYERS IN BACKPACK

2. YOU ARE THE MASTER RACE, TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT
On the way to your destination, you may come upon wild, ferocious animals, such as wild cows. You have two choices: a) eat it and make beef jerky, or b) avoid it. I will not go into detail about choice a), since it's too beastly for words. But if you want to avoid it, be confident in your humanness. This will especially be useful when a cow stands between your goal and you.
What should you do?
Go up to the cow, if it still has the guts to stand in front of you, shove out your thumbs, and tell him/her to SUCK IT.

3. WIND IS POWERFUL, BUT AN IDIOT
On the occasion where there are blistering cold winds, it is important to know how to handle it. Wind is your greatest enemy, for it can strike every part of your body. But, it also happens to be an idiot, and cannot find you if you hide. Some tips: a) wind goes in one general direction b) wind is cold only when it finds you.
What should you do?
Find a rock that is against the wind, and hide the hell behind it. The wind will avoid you like the final plague god sent upon egypt (SHAZAM)

4. MUGGERS
Your mugger is on the trail next to you, and he's mugging you. He mugging you while you are hiking.
What should you do?
Wrist control. Take his wrists and see how you're in control? Then, take out your gun. See? Completely motionless.

In the end, it should look something like this.


Cold, chapped lips, sunburn, windburn, and of course, a shaved head. Don't forget the awkwardly positioned eyebrows since the sun is in your way.

MISSION PEAK IS NO MATCH FOR AZNS

MAYBE ITS A BAD THING

i slpet for 13 hours today. and that's APPROXIMADO. but im awake now and my head hurts because its tyrying to comprehend the amazinglynessity of this newfound rest.

in ohter news

my fingur is getting better, the bruise is almost gone. ice on it will save me! ice on my head would probably help me too

catching up on sleep is a good thing

then again, you get some trippy dreams.

FOR EXMAPLE,
I had a dream i was a ceiling fan, like no joke. then some douche turned the switch and i started spinning. when i woke up at 12, my head hurt. no good. but at least im refreshed.

how useful!

I never realized how amazing it is that human beans have two (2) (dos) (dul) (twee) (deux) (zwei) (δύο) (due) (dois) hands.

just today I hurt my ring and middle finger. I know man, the middle finger? So useful, alas, it was all for naught. anyways after i put on a popsicle stick on them, my right hand was useless. I couldn't give anyone a helping hand (pun intended). Like I tried to make a (delicious) milkshake for my homies but I couldn't. When I was taking a deuce (2) (dos) (dul) (twee) (deux) (zwei) (δύο) (due) (dois) (two), it was extremely difficult to "finish up", ya dig? You could say it took a handful of strength to complete my task (pun intended).

In other news,
I have like some pimple-like bumps on my tongue. Dr. Mom says that I need more sleep, which is utterly contradictorous to my hypothesis that was engendered in the ante meridiem. no, i don't know what those words mean. But it's time to sleep i believe.

Maybe after a game of pokemans.
ya dig?
Doth thou conjecture?

Bears of Our Lives

I LOVE PROCRASTINATION.

oh man!

I hope you know that I know that you know that I know that you know that I know that you know that I know that you know that I know that you know that I know that you know that I know that you know that I know that you know that I know that you know that I know that you know that I know that you know that I know that I'm not dumb enough to eat four slices of bread with, jam, butter, peanut butter, and cream cheese.

Just sayin.


nvm i am dumb.

blisters on my feet

is not sweet to eat. heres one thing you probably dont know about me. i have a mole on my left foot. just sayin in case i get murdered and my head is severed and the popo cant identify my body. ya dig? oh and if you already knew that' then please stop stalking me. okie

April Fools

THERE'S A GHOST BEHIND YOU
LOL APRIL FOOLS

YOUR SHOES ARE UNTIED
LOL APRIL FOOLS

THERE'S NO SCHOOL TOMORROW
LOL APRIL FOOLS

FINALS ARE RESCHEDULED TO NEXT WEEK
LOL APRIL FOOLS

MY TEACHER GOT ARRESTED
LOL APRIL FOOLS

TODAY IS NOT APRIL FOOLS
LOL APRIL FOOLS

I WON THE LOTTERY
LOL APRIL FOOLS

I KILLED A MAN AND GOT AWAY WITH IT
LOL APRIL FOOLS, I DIDN'T GET AWAY WITH IT

I DON'T HAVE A LIFE
some things are not april fools.

;-;