So it turns out i'm being abandoned by my family. I accidentally lost my dad's wedding ring. He was hella trippin and i swear he... nvm I'll just tell you what happened.


It wasn't even my fault. He asked me to hold it. AND SO I DID. I put it down on the kitchen counter, then I proceeded to the computer, which is my natural habitat. 30 minutes later, he calls me down and asks, Where is my ring?

I reply, it's on the counter.

He says, it's not there

I reply, i know i put it there.

He says, ITS NOT THERE GET DOWN HERE NOW

So i go down, and to my surprise it's not there. I help him look for it for like forever. No prevail. He started getting frustrated and gave me a lecture on the history of ringology and the history it had between my mom and him. I wuz like OK.
I have this natural face in which i look really bored. I guess he took it really personally and just punched me in the face.

Straight up just whacked me me.

I was like WTF and pushed him back. My mom saw that and she's all like WTF MAN U CANT PUSH POPS LIKE THAT. I was likeLOL YEAH I CAN. Then i pushed her too.

My dad recovered from the fatal blow and was like ok man its over.

He ran into his bedroom and pulled out a rectangular trunk.

My mom was BEWILDERED and begged my dad not to bring "it" out.

I was like wtf is "it". My dad just replied with a faint grin.
In a blink of an eye, he pulled out a red cap, a rediculously ugly green,blue,and white jacket, blue jeans, and sneakers of no obvious brand.

The last article of clothing was pulled out with the most drama. My dad moved in slow motion and pulled a brown belt and strapped it on his bloomy blue jeans.

My eyes were still funky since my dad slapped me, but I could see faint outlines of his figure.

And then it hit me.

My dad was Ash Ketchum, of the legendary PALLET TOWN.

I realized what ENORMOUS trouble I was in. And fled to the safety of the room. I rummaged through the shelves of my room. but I was too late.

My dad's CHARIZARD just RIPS into my room and badly burned me. My dad proceeded into my now-burnt room. He commanded CHARIZARD to use another Flamethrower.

I was now aware of his attacks and dodged it. The attack did burn my shelves. In a stroke a luck, my pokeballs fell out. I blindly grabbed the closest one and frantically threw it at my opponent.

I can hear the gasp of my dad, and I looked up and saw my rescuer : BLASTOISE.

Without a moment to lose, I screamed out my first offense : HYDRO PUMP.
With the obvious advantage at my side, my dad could do nothing but allow CHARIZARD to take the full brunt of the attack. I let out a sigh of relief as CHARIZARD's HP depleted to 0.

My dad bellowed: THIS ISNT OVER YET, and sent out his first pokemon ever, PIKACHU.

I saw PIKACHU charge up for his THUNDER, which would, no doubt, knock out my BLASTOISE.

With cat-like reflexes I grabbed another pokeball and sent out my oldest friend, PIGEOT.

I knew from the second he came out, it was going to be a tough battle. But I believed in my friend and his abilities.
My dad commanded a THUNDER, and I replied with a SAND ATTACK. Luckily, my PIDGEOT had more SPEED, and sand was kicked everywhere. Of course this blinded PIKACHU, and his THUNDER was easily dodged. I decided to take the risk and use PIDGEOT's most powerful attack, FLY.

PIDGEOT summoned all of his strength; all I could do was hope for the best.
I saw PIDGEOT fly down from the sky.
Right into PIKACHU's neck.
I could hear the impact; it was like a crack of thunder.
I had won.

My PIDGEOT gained 44 EXP and Dad gave me 1500$.

Then I went down for dinner, which I saw my Mom and Dad muttering among themselves.
My Dad spoke and said : You need to go now. You are ready.
My Mom said : Here, take these RUNNING SHOES.
My best friend's sister said : Here, take this TOWN MAP.
My doctor said : Here, take this ENCYCLOPEDIA.

I accepted all of these things and went out into the world.

To be the very best.

Oh yeah none of this is real. Like ... none of it :O