pain & gain

Pain transcends boundaries. It is physical, mental, spiritual, sometimes by itself and sometimes all at once. It emerges as the singularity of a weary life,or as the gentle tug to a spirit. It is not tied to goodness, nor evil, it is objective in nature as nature itself. It is most certainly the effect of a certain cause, some of God and some of the flesh.

no pain, no gain. 

When a person works out, the most common experience post-experience is the feeling of soreness. It keeps you disabled in bed, it creates an unsteady gait, and yet it is the most associated with progress, and subsequently, a feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction. When I work out, if I rely on consistency and never increase the weight I lift, surely I will plateau at some point (which is where I am at now: I disguise my complacency as moderation). If there is no increase in weight, there is no increase in strength. A basic, balanced equation. A fact of life.

When it comes to the spiritual side of life, the trusted adage of "no pain, no gain" still shows relevancy, however, the equation of "xpain = xgain" finds itself useless in this context. Spirituality, and God Himself, cannot be bounded by an equation of such simplicity. Of course, I can never reduce God to an equation and diminish His divinity, but for the sake of the topic, I will reference equations to explore microscopic figments of the spiritual experience.

When I was in college, I took a 12:30 PM physics course, a couple minutes from my dorm room. The course itself costs several hundred dollars per lecture, but instead of going to lectures and discussions as the role of a student entails, I chose to eat lunch, play basketball, sleep in, sometimes all at the same time. When it came to the midterm, I scored 17%, which was weighted as 30% of my overall grade. Short story made even shorter, I tried harder, and I failed. Actually, it would be objectively incorrect to say I tried. I did not try, and I failed. A tragic, yet fair example of "no pain, no gain."



yes pain, yes gain 

The ideal equation. One where we truly reap what we sow. Where we find ourselves planting trees that we sit under the shade. A life dynamic that inspires us to endure through the trials, for the reward is known and at reach.

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. 

A few verses before, the apostle Paul acknowledges his character and resume that equips his pride, and endures through the struggle of counting them as loss. He also acknowledges the reason for the struggle, knowing that the ultimate prize of sharing in Christ's resurrection has its cost, to endure through the suffering that Christ Himself endured. Here, the equation is clear:

walk with Christ in His suffering = share with Christ in His victory

and it is true! Paul encourages us that not only is this the equation, but also that the One who has allowed the equation to exist is providing the power to achieve the gain, as if the proctor of an exam not only gives the answer to you, but provides the solution manual and walks you through to the solution for your understanding.

Some of the gain, like the example above, take a lifetime to receive, however, focusing on the famous Philippians verse "I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me" we see that within this, there is promise of immediate provision. How in prayer, God listens, and in repentance, forgiveness. The timeline of His divine distribution is a topic for another time.



yes pain, no gain

Perhaps the equation for the universal struggle of not just Christians, but humanity as a whole. When the output does not match the input, we immediately deem the operation as inefficient, invalid, purposeless.

Logically, it makes sense. Why put yourself through pain without reward? Or on an even basic level, why work for free? Even worse, why work for the benefit of everyone but yourself. Realistically, this is how our world operates. In a generation where self-value has righteously erupted into the focus of the social view, it has sown the seeds of selfishness and self-preservation. The movement to love oneself has mutated into the sin to love only yourself.

There are actually two branches of the "yes pain, no gain" equation that I have generally witnessed and experienced myself, both absurd in its own ways.

As a ministry leader, I have had the pleasure of counseling some of the most spiritually-connected people that God has created. This season is not one of those seasons. The class I teach now is unresponsive to my platitudes, uninterested in the word and perhaps maybe even uninterested in God.

Similarly, teaching young adults brings its own share of discouragements. Excuses of tiredness or busy schedules plague group chats, and yet even when offering accommodations, time cannot be spared.

I sit here in a bakery for weekly small group, except it lacks the group, but it is plenty small. I still prepped the bible study, printed 8 sheets of it, knowing that I probably will never distribute all eight, and I sit here until the allotted time, even after an hour of sitting by myself. It really is absurd, right?

To toil for a thriving, breathing, and blooming ministry but not have soil to work with, only concrete. To bring aspirations of sowing seeds, and yet I carry pebbles in my pouch, for I am no better than anyone.
To pray to an Almighty God for sustenance when what has been provided has already been left out to rot.

Oftentimes, when I experience pain without seeing gain, it usually means that the pain is an indication of a mistake. It's not a matter of evil or punishment, but a reminder that the path I selected is not the one where God is with me, and that's okay, that is when wisdom comes into play to discern that pain and turn back. I suppose if I were to apply the implications of "yes pain = no gain" in that sense, I would give up.

However, this is not one of those times.

I was reminded recently of why I do what I do. I am a servant of the One who has sent me, to minister and provide opportunities to those who have not the luxury of being offered a gospel, presented by words, actions, and whatever other means necessary. By example, by sacrifice, and by pain.

Will any one of you who has a servant plowing or keeping sheep say to him when he has come in from the field, ‘Come at once and recline at table’? Will he not rather say to him, ‘Prepare supper for me, and dress properly,and  serve me while I eat and drink, and afterward you will eat and drink’? Does he thank the servant because he did what was commanded? So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty.’

The concept of unworthiness was at first incredibly difficult for me to comprehend. If God loves me so much, how can I be condemned as unworthy? I could not reconcile my brokenness with my identity secured by Christ.

But notice, the speaker of the dialogue of "We are unworthy servants," it is not the Master, but it is the servant himself that confesses his unworthiness. It is a repentance of not just the sinful nature of myself, but the confession and glorification of the Lord. I had misunderstood on several levels: one, I had attributed my unworthiness to a condemnation from God. This is dispelled by making that confession myself, by the power of Christ that compels me and by the sacrifice of Christ that has made me realize His worthiness. Two, I believed my worth was relative to my own standard of worth, which I believed to be worthy. I realize now that my unworthiness is not a negative thing, because it is simply not about me at all. I am unworthy because the focus is on God, and I am in His presence, and of course His worthiness outshines my worldly worth, and it also enters my life and reshapes my worth.

All of this is only possible by the final equation of analysis:



no pain, yes gain, no pain

The only example worth analyzing and understanding and holding on to is the example and reality of what Christ has done for me.

For what credit is it if, when you sin and are beaten for it, you endure? But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.

Today, as I sit in solitude, I sit back and type and I remind myself, I have the ultimate gain, because the ultimate pain has been endured, but not by me. Because of which, what lies ahead has no bearing on my soul. What pain is beyond the sting of death? Surely, as Christ is in me, then that power that overcame the grave is in me as well. All things that lie ahead, all pain and all gain, and all things that are scattered in the past, all pain and all gain, shall not compare to the pain and gain of the Cross, in which Christ carried the pain of the world so that we might have the gain of Heaven.

But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me.