today

today is not about my redemption, nor my failure, nor my success;

nor the truths that bring my conviction, nor the lies that I spend too much time thinking about,

nor the commending I received, nor the commending I expect but did not,

it is none of these, for these are things for myself.

today is Yours.

today I bring the fruits of my life to You, the victories and the defeats, I do not leave them at the door, but I bring them both to the altar.

today was worship, a reaffirmation not of what I believe but attesting to who You are:

there won't be a day, that You're not by my side

and You are.

today I give up on the battles. of uncertainty, of bitterness, of hurt and shame, that's enough for today.

I will be still and know You are good.

I will be still and know You are God.

something about tattered sails

this is what i get for not writing these things down when it hits_

if i am self conscious of my tattered sails,

maybe the last time I opened up and trusted God, the spirit of the Lord led me to places where rips and tears followed each experience, and by the end of whatever weather i've weathered, my sails are a little less clean. the more i go through the oceans and parts unknown, the more my sails become frayed. the more frayed, the more I become afraid:

will my sails last another journey?

then i stop and think.

do my sails take me to my destination?

or is it the ocean in which I place my boat, is that not the road I travel? or is it the winds that blow over me, is that not my direction? riding the Lord's wave takes a new meaning when you realize you have no say or power over the wave, but you are left with a choice: go forth or watch it pass by from a distance.

open your tattered sails and wait for the tempest to come and take you, there is no other purpose here but to go.

h o p e

but a man's reach should exceed his grasp...

why am I aiming low? taking the easy way out? sticking to what is safe?

settling for the low req. colleges? taking the GRE once?

is my hope that small? is my trust that little?

how big is your fear? how small do you feel?

stand up, try again, fail if you have to.

fail again over and over if that's what it will be.

but you will never be unloved, you will never be rejected.

and that's more than enough

something about this

Moses was a hundred and twenty years old when he died, yet his eyes were not weak nor his strength gone.

Deuteronomy 34:7

how great is His faithfulness