because you will never appreciate things until its gone

ultimate cliche, and yet oh so applicable to my life.

i miss praise team. i miss council. i miss everything i had in youth group.

its not these certain things that i miss, rather it is that i miss childhood. i miss being young and careless. the things i thought were tough in my youth, i would gladly trade the world for.

not only do i not want to grow up, i am afraid. i am afraid of change, not within the environment, but within myself. i feel content with where i was 5 months ago.

i see people change, and pray that it does not happen to me. but what if it does? how will i react?

God i am so damn scared of life. the present never lasts, but the future goes a long time.

thanks.

i complain too much.

of course my complaints are justified and reasonable, but I think I need to make room for gratitude.

thanks to my parents, for the nourishment of delicious meals and the countless number of useless crap i begged for you to buy me. for all the life lessons and for the opportunity to allow me to teach you a few things about technology

thanks to my sister, for being the older brother i needed, for the spark of music taste, for the support in whatever i do.

thanks to my friends, jason, jonathan, johnny, bronas for life. i will never forget the bond we've solidified these past four years.

thanks to more friends, squad, jkc, lunchtime tablefriends, afterschool friends, call of duty friends, you guys taught me theres more to school than just studying.

thanks to church, for shaping me the way i am now, for helping me realize my mistakes, and for introducing me to a second chance.

thanks to praise team, truly i would not be where I am if it were not for that step of faith. thank you jonathan, michael, meryem, andrea for fostering a young spirit in a new praise team. thank you esther, julie, chan, irene for showing me a new generation of worshippers. and good luck to john, hopefully i have set an example for you to observe, and to one day, surpass.

thank you God, because I would not be alive if it werent for a couple of miracles on your part. because every breath is another chance. they might say im a fool, that i've given up everything for something that doesnt exist, but how can they know what i've experienced in my lifetime? and so I thank you, for everything.