important:

it's very important to listen to yourself.

to understand your emotions so that you can carry on in a logical, safe manner,

to keep your heart safe and your mind steady.

but this is not one of those times.

suspend thoughts and plans,

rewards and consquences,

and let go and surrender.

speak, child, speak.

give the grave only bones

hear the rattle of weakness

my groans and complaints

heavy eyelids, heavier worries

collapsed on the carpet, again, again.

see how He works, how He moves, how He uses you

give thanks, for grace and for strength;

pray,

and now, rest.

come alive

And he said to me, "Son of man, can these bones live?" And I answered, "O Lord God , you know."

to be more than

bones joints flesh

to be more than just me.

to be declared alive only after receiving breath,

I am just a body.

O Lord God, you know.

I want to be more than just a body.

I want to be alive.

wops

" I'm no leader.

good worshipper, sure. no leader. i just don't have what it takes. "

today I spoke it and confessed it, but then couldn't say where I heard it from. 

today I was reminded, once again, I am many things and I am not many things, but in the context of what God wants through me, then His will be done. 

today I realized that I still hold on, to pride and image, and today I realized to hell with all of that. 

once again, dingdong, I saw in myself desperately holding on to something that I can't carry with me, and then I felt, I need to let go. 

I am something now, but let me become nothing, so You can be everything. I didn't want all of You, but I need all of You. I didn't want to give it all up, but that's the cost huh, to take away everything not to be empty, but to make room. 

i have nothing of value to give to you but still, You will give nothing less than all of You.

spring up, old wells

in the places that were once dry

now begins to fill up

not by pouring into or the rain,

but something deeper.

how often

will I let fear take away a piece of the joy again?

little by little

doubt chips away at the fullness of His gift

a gift meant for me

a gift pulled apart by the little tugs of this world

look at me, and reach out

reach out, beloved,

through my trembling and tears,

past the cold and dark,

even past the warmth and light,

oh reach out even further,

reach out.

this is what you do

this is what You do,

You make all things new.

it is bursting through

alive.