scary bedtime thoughts

you laugh at frightful moments until the sun turns low seeking the quick transition of sleep but first patiently waiting for the eyes to fall

leafblowers in the morning

it is not until you grow tired of the roaring of machines and the crashing of the present will you finally enjoy the silence

in reverse

into the sweet comfort of nothing i take my last breath ive decided it is enough but was it worth it in the end the emotion of life happiness sadness satisfaction blend together like paint experiences feelings and memories ive learned nothing is meaningful besides the things i hold dear i know how its supposed to end but what do i do from here?

things are a little bit different

i've never been one to lose myself in anger. happened a handful of times this year. whatevs. growing up is a journey indeeeeed. I like home, but right now I think I want to go back to Irvine haha

damn it all

confused as hell. went home for the weekend, but it felt so unnatural. i come back down to irvine, and it feels so familiar. where the hell is home?

went to church today

it's so weird being the newcomer, after going to the same church for over 18 years. they're friendly, i like how they do worship, they seem very nice. i learned one thing today, the literal translation of comfort in the bible is not to coo or to massage or some crap like that, but it empower and strengthen. so this whole time when i asked God to comfort me, i was asking for a slap in the face and an encouraging message to move forward. it makes so much sense now.

damn damn damn damn damn

damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn.