we do not know why we suffer

because we do not know what suffering is.

we know how it feels

but truly we can never define it for what it is.

but we can see what follows:

the hurt, the stress, the confusion

the growth, the understanding, the endurance

but really

it's mostly just confusion.

i am dumb.

Like the stars Your Word

Will align my voyage

And remind me where I’ve been

And where I am going.

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

1 Corinthians 13



I will love the Lord my God.

I will love my brothers.

I will love my sisters.

I will love you (regardless).

I will love my church.

I will love those who look up and down at me.

I will love what I do.

I will love the suffering and the pain along the way.

I will love the blessings and the victories I do not deserve.

I will love myself for I am created in His image.


For I was first loved.


And because of this love I am satisfied.

scary bedtime thoughts

you laugh at frightful moments until the sun turns low seeking the quick transition of sleep but first patiently waiting for the eyes to fall

leafblowers in the morning

it is not until you grow tired of the roaring of machines and the crashing of the present will you finally enjoy the silence

in reverse

into the sweet comfort of nothing i take my last breath ive decided it is enough but was it worth it in the end the emotion of life happiness sadness satisfaction blend together like paint experiences feelings and memories ive learned nothing is meaningful besides the things i hold dear i know how its supposed to end but what do i do from here?

things are a little bit different

i've never been one to lose myself in anger. happened a handful of times this year. whatevs. growing up is a journey indeeeeed. I like home, but right now I think I want to go back to Irvine haha